Ed's Redeeming Qualities - Sad lyrics

There's a fire in the attic A flood in the basement But I just can't get out of bed There's a cop at the door A snake on the floor And a mad dog is licking my head The mattress is hot My skin hurts a lot The blankets are pulling my hair My feet feel like bricks My legs, like sticks But my eyes just lie here and stare Don't call his mother Or send for a doctor Just lock all the doors and take out the phone Burn all his money And sell all his clothes Give him some water and leave him alone Because he's never been sadder And we know what's the matter It's his brain that is all out of whack She left him this way And he promised to stay Until she changes her mind and comes back. There's a bomb on my pillow My face feels like jell-o The ceiling is starting to fall I can't help but from thinking That the whole house is singing And there's a hurricane out in the hall I know that it's stupid To stay in this bed The smell, here, is making me blind It's hard to keep cool But I've acted like a fool Of the biggest and very worst kind Don't call his mother Or send for a doctor Just lock all the doors and take out the phone Burn all his money And sell all his clothes Give him some water and leave him alone Because he's never been sadder And we know what's the matter It's his brain that is all out of whack She left him this way And he promised to stay Until she changes her mind and comes back.