Eddie From Ohio - Jack Can't Cook lyrics

Jack can't cook, Jack can't cook Jack can't cook, Jack can't cook you can't judge a story by the cover of a book so don't just Jack, 'cause Jack can't cook jack can't cook, so be built himself a diner where no one in the neighborhood thought it ought to be packs chant "crook," so they built themselves a dummy of hungry old jack burnin up in effigy jack hates kids, so he married him a granny who jack knew wouldn't have the land for his seed but jack thought wrong, and the granny had a baby and the baby looked a lot like jack indeed jack left home, for a younger Venezuelan who made a lot of showings, except in jack's bed. had old jack been henry the eighth then maybe anne boleyn just might have kept her head Chorus it ain't no thing if your plate is full so why not send jack to culinary school jack can't count, but his son was an accountant who counted on being named the heir to jack's throne but he lost out to his younger brother who couldn't count either had the elder only known jack can't stand the drive to his kitchen so he ordered it moved into his backyard. now jack can't stand the noise and the b**hin' cuz it's near, ain't life hard jack only has a name for his diner and wouldn't you know it, it's after himself. jack only has a model for his diner next to the urn on his living room shelf. now honest abe has a key to the city and hungry old jack has a lot of self pity. Chorus