[LL Cool J] Yeah.. Yeah I like that guitar man, yeah Yo E-Love I like the way you flipped that guitar man Knahmsayin? It was a good idea man, knahmsayin? Yeah It's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin? I wanna get hype man, I wanna do this, yaknahmsayin? Just gon' chill, check it out Slick as Vasoline, smell good as cologne I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone I rhyme like Superman, you rap like Jimmy Olson I break you like a bottle of green Golden Molson You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress How you gon' sleep on me holmes, do I look like a mattress? Am I that old, do I walk like Grady? I'mma hundred-fifty proof, Smirnoff is only 80 Don't you EVER try to rock my house I'm a real cool cat, know what I'm sayin Mickey Mouse? The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this Now think about it -- can you really come close to this? You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler Ugly as work shoes, messin with the Ruler: The ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer Chorus: LL Cool J Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) [LL Cool J] You end up underneath my sneaker You're dog doo-doo, I'm watchin you get weaker You can't believe, the sk** and dexterity LL Cool J, and the J is for Jeremy So buff me, James Todd the earthquaker That's right my brother, you're goin out like Sega Screwed and chewed, so wha**up dude? One of my ballads'll get your girlies in the mood s**er MC's really make me sick I'm so bad, I can s** my own dick If you go to your girl's house and I'm there already Don't go Crazy cause my name ain't Eddie Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry When Einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout ME The Prince of the Earth, and I'ma give birth To a rhyme so hard you look soft as a Smurf Gigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out? LOVELY, and that's without a doubt! Chorus 3/4X [LL Cool J] Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor When I'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature And cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers Not the ones on the table, I'm talkin about RUFF rovers You can't get over, what's my name, Goofy? You smoke I'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys And take a pull, cause the buck stops here I get swift as a magician, wreck sh** and dissapear Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty To the Prince of the Rap Court, I'm royalty And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle Paragraphs I put together so I carry a muzzle To shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet I'm a one man RIOT, so don't even TRY IT The Prince of special tactics, plus I'm athletic Before you play your hand you better do some calisthenics Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine Speak your piece, then I'mma go for mine And I guarantee you, I'm gonna strike again I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten I ain't Sidney Poitier but we can "Do This Again" I'm nice wit mines, and I gotta admit it You don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it! Chorus 1/2 [LL Cool J] But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand Here's a little sample -- EHM EHM, my man *BRRRRRRRING* "Hello?" {*cut n scratch "Cool J"*} ".. takes everything you've got" -] Cheers (theme song) {*cut n scratch "pushin a broom"*} ".. sure would help a lot" -] Cheers (theme song) [LL Cool J] Check my stats, how we livin, I thought so I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point I'm tellin you, they're the serious joint I eat my steak fast, I drink my brew slow My voice is milky with a nice clear flow I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo I'm not a ballplayer, so now Y'KNOW! Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) Cause I rock the house, everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) KnowhatI'msayin? And I'mma be straight til the year 3000. That's word to mother, knahmsayin? And I say mother with a V cause the V is for Victory yaknahmsayin? Cause I'm the victor in this game, word up, knahmsayin? That's what time it is, peace {*crew applause*} That man, he sure is FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY! Funky, he sho' is! You best believe he's FUNKY! You didn't KNOW??? FUNKY!