[Round 1: Dumbfoundead] Shoutout to King of the Dot and OVO one time For flying out Jet Li on a Learjet, ‘cause Lil' Romeo must die My last battle was Battle of the Bay 5 That was 5 years ago, when I was ‘yay' high I feel paranoid on a yay high, ‘cause with these cameras, this host, and this little p**y, am I on Dateline? I could k** you in six seconds; I should just make Vines Let's save time, just say “time!” He's probably gon' say some Asian sh** And pull out shoguns, Peking Duck, Ching Chang Chong Wait, slow that down, did I accidentally diss you? I said, pull out yo' guns, peek and duck, ching chang chong That sh** is easy as f**, I don't like to slow it down When I spit a line, I want y'all to know it now You always over-explain That sh** is overly done, ain't y'all over it yet? Ironic, the shortest motherf**ers Always trying to go over your head How you that small? You look like a male Bratz doll You know I actually auditioned for Wild 'N Out Then I looked in the mirror And said, “That's not what I'm about.” They had me rhyme in a Chinese accent I told 'em I'm from Korea town Then they asked the black guy next to me To wear a wig and a Madea gown Y'all know him as Conceited now You're a D-list celebrity, I'd rather keep my integrity I'd make more money in my sleep While you sleep with the enemy I couldn't have bought my condo with Con dough I got Dumb money—and that's not a pun, dummy Now I got young money for the artist fee And you also got young money For modeling the cover of Carter 3 Look at his baby a** with his baby tats You buy your guns at Baby Gap; your first job, you babysat When you throw out punches they feel like baby daps Your favorite rapper is Baby Bash That's not a punchline, that's real… baby facts [Round 1: Conceited] Listen here, Dumbfoundead Now you going against the hoodie type The gun'll spit, give you a bunch of tips I ain't talking about good advice n***a you ain't cooking me, the only thing you cook is rice Aight, which one of y'all Dumbfoundead Both of you n***as look alike So y'all finally put Dumbfoundead in front of me They say you are what you eat No wonder why this cat kept duckin' me n***a, me and this Chin should've been battled I would've sawed you and flamed ya Don't think that the Dot is determined to save ya ‘Cause they gave me the body I always wanted, like a personal trainer So I'll pull up on that set you rep Get your stomach cut without doing sit-ups You better dip, it won't work out If I spot you with the pounds that I lift up When the MAC's out you ain't doing squat Y'all better see Dumb bail when I send this Chin up This kid Dumb is the worst dressed in battle rap history I mean, I hate your shoes, b You only roll in something fresh when you making sushi And what you wear doesn't match Like the lips and words in Asian movies Y'all move y'all mouths a million times For just one word, and it still be off—why? They be like, “……………..Hi.” The sound effects never on time either It's either like *kshch* or *huhhuh**kpshpsh* But try that kung fu sh** with me, I'ma grip the 8 You don't want me to cook your noodle Well, get low, man, like what's on your dinner plates Don't believe anything this ninja say or one word he spit today ‘Cause just like your YouTube clip We know everything you kickin' fake This n***a's name is Jonathan Park That's not a punchline, that's real facts! No cab when you see an arm wave You can get hit with the knife But a toast will spread when I give Park, K's I'll show up at your front door with a large 8 Right where John stay, it'll be looking like Monopoly ‘Cause I got the metal piece at Park place You will get wet, grab a poncho, n***a I point with the 9, like Rondo, n***a And you gonna hear a lot of steel, like I'm a Toronto n***a [Round 2: Dumbfoundead] How you say that kick video was fake? That sh** was real It's as real as you grip the steel If I can't kick it, yo, your b**hes will There's perks to being short, I don't care what y'all think When you got small feet, you can get the Jordans all cheap When you order a shot at the bar, that's a tall drink He got three hot tubs at the crib, all sinks I know these short jokes are getting old But I ain't even gotta use those They're just starting to grow on me, but you won't So I had some of my North Korean homies Hack into your emails; I found some very interesting details Keywords like latex, shaved legs Jpegs of Taye Diggs—all types of gay sh** But I know you ain't gay, ‘cause you into Asians But yours look like cavemen I stay with a bad b**h What you think is a dime is maybe, ehhh, 6 Like, if you went to a Thai who*e house They be last pick and have dicks I get the top hoes at the Brothel You couldn't reach the top row at a Costco's It's impossible, you're hella short You, Emmanuel Louis, Gary Coleman, Martin Lawrence Lil' Bow Wow, Big Bow Wow, and Kevin Hart Black Hollywood's seven dwarves A bunch of midgets in the woods living large You seem all tough in Hollywood But it's all an act in the end, like Bollywood When I'm talking K pop, I ain't talking Gangnam Style I'm talking Gangland files In L.A. words can get you k**ed, like a hangman round Lately the battle scene has gotten Iggy Azalea But I ain't talking black and white I'm talking make-believe and actual life Hear how you glorifying guns And probably gon' have a blast tonight There's some kid in every major city in America Who's gon' get blast tonight You have imaginary guns, some people have mandatory ones I seen them Wild 'N Out reruns of you rapping having fun The homie died the other day The news ain't ran the story once Sometimes I think we both forget that we both sell rhymes But hook us up to a polygraph, bet I won't fail mine With your folktales of dope sales, ain't no shells flyin' ‘Cause real rounds don't end when the host yells "Time!" [Round 2: Conceited] You and your whole Asian gang, I'll just use one fist to hit you I'll put my right hand on that yellow circle; that's Twister, n***a Double deuce-deuces With these little blickers I'll grip the trigger You could get shot down by the twins More than Roger in Sister Sister I'm quick to grip a Wesson or a 12 I'll let the weapon give you hell; just like your fortune cookies you can get the message from a shell You cuff your b**h like she in jail, but she give me mad choch Yeah, you're part of the Swim Team, I give her back strokes She give me fast throat, and do good when she south Since she eat with chopsticks She should be used to having some wood in her mouth But she has the flattest a** and chest I have ever seen She's such a small skeezer If I was you I wouldn't be wrestling to hit that raw neither I mean, she's from China, why would you take her? No matter what she rock, nothing big shows From any angle that John seen her This large nina make sure your nephew and niece are slaughtered; and your aunt may find Your uncle been k**ed, like Peter Parker n***a, the clip will be on your head, you don't need a barber And that sh** will “BOW!”, like you when you greet your father I'll kick in his door, walk in his home Start waving, like I'm finna go When I'm licking ain't no envelope I'ma hit your sensei, your grandfather, I'ma k** your folks I'ma bring the Maggie to that yellow family Like the Simpsons show Y'all n***as know I'm gonna sling him, them 9's I'ma bring him And I bring the war to Park, like Wild Water Kingdom I'm bringing the heavy can; any problems, I'll let the semi blam If things go south, Park, soon as you walk I'll Make sure you get caught, man, how can he stand? Y'all catch that? Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Stan? Man, that's why this chinky hates me If it's problems I'll get the sh** jumping, like Mr. Hanky Now lastly they told me By the looks of his eyes he might be sleepin' on you So I better come with it I should be scared of his freestyles And be horrified of Dumb's writtens Had me like, “sh**, in this battle Dumbfoundead gonna cook and eat me…” nah, just kiddin' SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST DISSED YOU! I said, Dumbfoundead gonna cook and eat me? Nah, just kittens. HAHH!!! [Round 3: Dumbfoundead] I'm opening up for Pat Stay and Charron, shake my head I started this nerdy sh**, this the motherf**in' thanks I get? I get the club going up like iLoveMakonnen You get in the club droppin' names Like, “I'm with Nick Cannon.” He rocks expensive sh** and licks his lips, LL Cool J over here The difference is you've been rappin' 'Bout dudes your whole career By the way, what's all that sh** on your neck? What's all that sh** mean? Oh, I get it, we all make mistakes when we're fifteen This is where me, Tunechi and Wiz link We got grown-man tats, lil tyger, that sh** is kid ink How much work could they done on you? Matter of fact, that's the only time you've had a gun on you Ratatatat bu*terflies on your back And some Chinese letters that don't mean jack Every battle you do is a short film Oh, you got unlimited ammo? Does that mean I could have force fields? Does that mean I could have orcs, swords, shields A giant hammer that Thor wields? Does that mean I could have orbs, pills Potions to level up more sk**? Just ‘cause you talk about guns Doesn't make it more real; you're a dork still! While you and your crew were playin' Gangster: The Gathering I went on a couple dates with your family Met his mama on Tinder, thought we had something special I leaned in to kiss her She said: “SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST MET YOU!” So I holla'd at his auntie, real polite, real respectful I thought she'd want me But she said: “SLOW IT DOWN! THAT'S MY NEPHEW!" My last resort was his sister, I knew I'd be successful I was like, all aggressive with it, like, “Let me hit it!” She said: “SLOW IT DOWN! I'MA LET YOU!” It's funny how you think Organik is your friend But he's just exploiting you; he's like Nick Cannon at the end Yo, but after this, I may never have to battle rap again But you, you'll be back up here again Battling with him, battling with them Battling with enemies, battling with friends Wait, what's your name, sir? Jim? You'll be battling with Jim! For you, it's a never-ending battle And the battle never ends. The end… [Round 3: Conceited] We was supposed to battle 2009 in Grind Time With the bars you ran, so what we need relay for? You was pissed, I was buzzin' If we battled, you would be a corpse So that shows I been made John mad in '09, like EA Sports I mean, I thought you would sign a deal You mad ‘cause my views are climbing mills? I know that sh** was driving him crazy Like when you behind the wheel I shoot and fire steel that'll pop at ya And I light 8 sticks, like it's Hanukkah Just to get you capped, like a yarmulke That erase this mark, like a swastika I load and flash steel; that's photographers And the can, it'll cap it all, like Ottawa Yo, I'm boxing ya, if we brawl up in this place You'll get knuckles all up in ya face And your head be knocked-off, like the Jordans that y'all make So y'all go and gave me this Chino in TO Who eats soup named miso, and he's called a hero? n***a, I will take every dollar you got if your gwap got zeroes Like that movie they was shooting, Heat Al Pacino's in the cast and Rob De Niro SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST DISSED YOU! I said, we're shooting heat I'll put Chinos in a cast and rob dinero You take this Asian pride sh** so far Your favorite battle rapper is probably Math I mean, there's nothing left to talk about You're so Asian, when you get hungry, you argue with your girl on purpose, so she can put you in the dog house You take this Asian pride sh** so far, you probably love Ryu And your second favorite battle rapper's Tsu Surf ‘Cause he puts his rhymes in subtitles I should let the snub light you right now You'll let the pipe blaow? n***a, pipe down! You ain't got the Magnum for protection to pop Con Dumb, it's not in your lifestyle I need you to tell me right now Why do you use “R's” instead of “L's” when you speak? He be like, “Herro! My favorite rapper is Ril Wayne.” I mean, now that's the truth, I ain't racist I don't know if that's something you do ‘cause you're Asian But in this battle I'll give you a L So you can use it in your language That Ruger get to bangin' Put you in your place if you coming for Con dough Go realer with the bananas For the monkey business wherever Con go Why would you think a 9 would miss? Bullets have no name, but they still coming for John though Y'all know S.O.N.S created a lane for any battler that has bars Even when you Asians will break And somebody down and k**ing 'em, that's ours No, when you Asians will break And somebody down and k**ing 'em, that's SARS So even if he did say he'll burn me like ether When he busts guns These blickers kick back, like 3 Ninjas You Rocky? Put the Colt to your tum tum And if you did have a gun You would give nobody the bucks; you like Lush One. HANH!!!