Dr. Demento - Shaving Cream lyrics

I have a sad story to tell you It may hurt your feelings a bit Last night when I walked in my bathroom I stepped in a big pile of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen I think I'll break off with my girlfriend Her antics are queer, I'll admit Each time I say, "Darling, I love you" She tells me that I'm full of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen Our baby fell out of the window You'd think that her head would be split But good luck was with her that morning She fell in a barrel of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen An old lady died in a bathtub She died from a terrible fit In order to fulfill her wishes She was buried in six feet of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen When I was in France with the army One day I looked into my kit I thought I would find me a sandwich But the darn thing was loaded with ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen And now, folks, my story is ended I think it is time I should quit If any of you feel offended Stick your head in a barrel of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen