Dan Bull - British Teeth lyrics

[Intro] I'm flossing Open wide You may feel a small amount of discomfort As I sink my teeth into this issue f**ing let's go [Verse 1] I was a jolly good child But never had a Hollywood smile I probably should be bothered but I'm not 'cause my gob is just part of my ebullient style Charmingly funny and vile Like Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Kyle Met a woman, it was good for a while Then I grinned and had her running a mile Ugh... look at all that spit I've got a mouth like a Sarlacc Pit I look a bit like I was kicked to the kerb And my teeth took it worse than the Tarmac I bit I'm a little bit Ricky Gervais If he was hit with a brick in the face Dirty c*nt Perverted version of Kirsten Dunst But worse in person 'cause of a certain oniony pungence Line up girls, who's first in front? Got a tongue like a Persian rug f** mouthwash, pa** the detergent *glug* This is urgent look, get a surgeon booked Who can work with the curtains shut Too squeamish to floss, bleeding is gross So please just leave me to rot 'cause believe it or not I really am reasonably pleased with the teeth that I've got Don't give a f** whether you're a fan of mine Stop... Arm & Hammer time [Hook] You're jelly of my British teeth I'm a vicious beast If you do not like my music Then it's obvious that you are just too jelly of my British teeth I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast with British teeth [Verse 2] Got them whitened, I might get them straightened But I kind of like to frighten the states with them And would Amy Winehouse Have sounded the same without the wide mouth? And the same applies to Shane MacGowan John Lydon, Clint Howard Think "Lemmy meets Steve Buscemi" I can already see your semi See you're jelly of my British teeth aplenty See your envy I'm the MVP of dentistry on the NHS My teeth are s**y I bring the Aquafreshest raps Grinning like a Cheshire Cat f** your feckless standards of beauty You can shut your precious mouth My dentist was the gentlest She never did a thing that was senseless She sensibly selected medical consensus over aesthetic pretenses Regarding hygiene my teeth are quite clean But far from the whitest I've seen They used to be white, now they're yellowing Maturing like Cheddar and mellowing Developing into better things They're getting ever more menacing Snapping like a terrapin When I'm dead, I'll be outlived by my skeleton [Hook] You're just jelly of my British teeth I'm a vicious beast If you do not like my music Then it's obvious that you are just too jelly of my British teeth I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast with British teeth