Dan Bull - I’m the King of the Castle lyrics

[Intro] Ahh, do you smell that? [Verse 1] Look at my fortress, it's bloody gorgeous I'm looking forward to seeing how sturdy yours is I hope you bought buildings and contents insurance 'Cause you're about to make a claim of epic proportions You were appointed with a place of great importance You'll be disappointed when it's nothing more than sawdust You're getting shelled like a walnut or shelled like a corn husk Or shelled like an unfortunate tortoise This track's enormous like my pink sword is But I'm running out of rhymes so bring me my thesaurus (Aw yiss!) Anything you build up will be brought to the floor with Force, feel the buildup, yes, of course, here's the chorus [Chorus] Come on, I'm ready For anything you're sending at me I'm the king of my castle, bow to me I'm aching for the battle, one, two, three Come on, I'm ready For anything you're sending at me I'm the king of my castle, bow to me I'm aching for the battle, one, two, three [Verse 2] Dunking on packs of wolves as if they're basketballs And I did that before the sport was fashionable Your faction's calling for a nasty fall and I've been smashing walls From here to Aston Hall I am impassable, I'm unsurpassable And when it comes to demolition I'm a natural Fact, your walls and gravity are incompatible You need 'em bashed to the floor and I'm the chap to call My mouth's a cannon that is rammed with massive balls I'm rapping to Pachelbel's Canon and it's classical In practical terms, I'm taking tactical turns But still collapsing buildings is my main thematic concern I'll never have my fill with abusing your battlements It's more amusing to me than the sound of flatulence Benevolent, I do it for your benefit and betterment So remember than when I'm wrecking your settlement There ain't nothing left of it except for bits of sediment Ready for Bovis to set up a new development (Who?) I'm tearing through your regiments as if they're bits of loo roll And when I'm done, I will return again, rip you a new hole (Hahaha! Hey, hey, hey!) [Chorus] Come on, I'm ready For anything you're sending at me I'm the king of my castle, bow to me I'm breaking you in battle, under siege Come on, I'm ready (Whoo!) For anything you're sending at me I'm the king of my castle, bow to me I'm breaking you in battle, under siege [Verse 3] Um, my liege? Yes? We're under siege Whose limbs are these? They must be somebody's But before we succumb I should come up with a speech Or borrow one, that's easier, so once more unto the breech! Oi, oi, who wants a piece? Come on, come get it Anyone from sheep to priests, you having fun yet? Fighting all the undead, right from dawn to sunset By now the body count's gotta be more than a hundred But I'm not done yet and I'm not gonna rest Until there's precisely one less than one left After a hard battle, you'll find Daniel in his hard castle His detractors captive in the back with legs and arms shackled Supping on a cup of ale, regaling the court with tales Of the time you tried to step up and failed to prevail Tuck your tail in between your legs and do one Or yet again, I'll rip you a new one Sat in my fortress, it's bloody gorgeous I'll never surrender it to the National Trust What a performance, I'd call it flawless Just like the hole inside your castle where your floor was (Hah! Hey, hey, hey!) [Chorus] Come on, I'm ready For anything you're sending at me I'm the king of my castle, bow to me I'm returned from the battle, victory Come on, I'm ready Let's sit down and have a cup of tea I'm the king of my castle, bow to me I'm returned from the battle, victory