Dan Bull - Pistol In The Bathroom lyrics

[Dan Bull:] Ok, look, I’m well aware, that this is probably going to sound insane (whip-woo) But I honestly just fell out the back of a plane Landed in a random bit of abandoned real estate Then ran straight into the nearest place and here I stayed in the can The place is a mess, but it’s better than the outside (true) And so I’m making a nest to settle down, hide No doubt I’ll cause an outcry, called a coward, but it’s not that, it’s just everyone else is overpowered (wa) Would I like a vast exciting island to explore? Err, thanks, but, no thanks I’d rather hide behind this door not coming out (yeah) Somebody’s got to sort the plumbing out, blomming hell You want to run around? Go bother someone else Of all the places y’all could urinate, you’re all up in my face This ain’t the place to fornicate in or negate the call of the nature Sorry mate, we’re all devoid of toilet paper, call in later This cubicle’s engaged, go locate a stall that’s vacant (ha) I’ve got important business, that’s taking concentration Waiting for the game to finish and faking constipation (uh) [Bonecage:] I found a pistol in the bathroom Somebody put a pistol in the bathroom (uh) Somebody was cleaning their gun While they were taking a sh** I found a pistol in the bathroom Somebody put a pistol in the bathroom I’m going to number one With the gun I found in the bathroom [Dan Bull:] Oi Dan, what’s the hold up? Shh, nothing, I’m holed up and ready to unload on any soldier that rolls up (wa) I’ll leave your skull bust open like a walnut (wah) With a hole in the middle like a bone donut That was a trigger warning, so don’t say I never told you That you won’t see me on the leaderboards, if you scroll up (pff) I need to pa** the time, I’m really bored Oh look! Found some make up in the cabinet And now I’m dolled up, dragged up Sat on the bog and draggin on a roll up This lavatory seat’s freezing, I’ve got a cold bu*t (wo) Now, you may say the way I play is soulless I say it’s realistic using the head of my shoulders Because while everybody else is chasing after gold dust I’m laying back and selling shovels in the gold rush I’m in a toilet stall with a bullet hole in the wall But if you go for glory, then I’ll go for your balls [Bonecage:] I found a pistol in the bathroom Somebody put a pistol in the bathroom Somebody was cleaning their gun While they were taking a sh** (uh) I found a pistol in the bathroom Somebody put a pistol in the bathroom I’m going to number one With the gun I found in the bathroom [Dan Bull:] Gnarly, how can you aim a shot at somebody you can’t see? No one saw me standing there, not even Paul McCartney (bruv) You want me? f**ing well, come and find me I’ll be waiting with a gun and a pack of sarnies (jeez) Now I’m not weapons trained and I don’t know karate But I’ll fight you and your family and your army If you think I’m coming out this bathroom – hardly I’ll be the last one in the chocolate factory like Charlie Aw, you’re not invited, it’s a one man party Not sharing my shelter for sh**, I’m not Bob Marley Not going to get up, stand up There’s too much burning and looting and having the gun jamming’s A concern, when you’re shooting Try my pioneering new type of conflict resolution Hiding where guys are normally performing their ablutions Just remember, when you’re done to flush the latrine This is the secret to the way I keep so fresh and so clean If you’re haveng PUBG problems, I feel bad for you, son I beat ninety nine opponents and I haven’t shot one [Bonecage:] I found a pistol in the bathroom Somebody put a pistol in the bathroom (woo) Somebody was cleaning their gun While they were taking a sh** (hah) I found a pistol in the bathroom Somebody put a pistol in the bathroom (me?) I’m going to number one With the gun I found in the bathroom