Dan Bull - Oh No Mario! lyrics

[Verse 1] Well Why are video games so bloody violent? Mindless? Man, it's time to rewind To a time where the action was colorful and innocent Moms and Dads didn't have to be diligent Didn't have to panic for the kids becoming militant Mario's back and it's brilliant! I'm a wholesome character that is suitable for children A real role model when I'm leaping off a building Come on kids; follow me, follow me One, two, three; jump off and weeeeee! Dash through traffic shouting "tally ho" Can you run down the road as fast as Mario? I'ma show you pipes; a variety of types Hash pipes, crack pipes; pa** me a light I'm jacked up on mushrooms, listening to Rush tunes Puff, puff, pa** me the carrot Motherf** you [Hook] f**. Yeah (Oh no Mario!) f**. Yeah (Oh no Mario!) (f**ing listen) [Verse 2] Roll up to the club and I jump on the table Engage in R-rated behavior that's shameful f** the haters straight up mate You can jump on a turtle, and make it painful I'm only saving Princess Peach To get a piece and pinch her peaches (Preach!) I'm going to break that bum when I get her home But I've got the shakes man, I'm coming off the methadone So I scoff another plate full of Goombas Make her s** me off on the rug like a roomba Ooh-rah Rebel rabble rouser That'll yank down Bowser's trousers And I sell d**, plumbing is a front I'm addressing every woman as a c*nt Roughing up a punk while I'm puffing on a blunt Duppy motherf**ers and I stuff them in the trunk [Hook] f** finishers in Mortal Kombat (Oh no Mario!) Mario's already been there, done that (Oh no Mario!) f** Carmageddon and f** Manhunt (Oh no Mario!) Mario's worse, he's a god damn c*nt (Oh no Mario!) [Verse 3] Spin my hat front to back then back to front I bet you can't do that, you c*nt I'm a little f**ing fat f**ing plumber f**ing taking on f**ing any f**ing comer I'm a Loose cannon on the loose With an appetite for animal abuse Don't like Jews, I don't like you Don't like anybody, hang them from a noose Enacting atrocities, cruelty of all kinds Bloodbaths, ma**acres, slaughter, and war crimes Napalming your jungle leaves When I'm shaking the junk in my dungarees But you won't get a crumb from me Because I'm from the streets of New Donk City Out the barrio and I'm heading for Hell It's a me Mario beheading infidels [Hook] f** Saints Row, f** Grand Theft Auto (Oh no Mario!) Mario's going to come and cut your throat (Oh no Mario!) f** Doom, f** Hatred (Oh no Mario!) Mario's raping all that is sacred (Oh no Mario!) (Nintendo; Fun for all the family)