D-CYPHR - Lost lyrics

[Chorus] Dreaming about success I know I'm not the best but I Want to be the best So I pray All alone and I'm lost I'm lost Trying to find a way out (to find a way out) Trying to find some help (to find some help) I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else) So I pray, yeah I'm lost I'm lost [VERSE 1] When I was a kid I spent my whole life chilling in my room I didn't know what to do With my life, I didn't have a dream to pursue For I have autistic needs, social difficulties But as I got older I realised there was more to life Like the fact that I've gotta fight For a dream, I had to go out and find Interests, how could I have been so blind? So I started off secondary school thinking I fit in fine As a year 7 kid my mind wasn't right I realised I was hated in a few years time But back then I was out of my own mind I was the kind of kid to screw up every time I didn't have a chance to make things right I didn't pay attention to the rules of life I ignored every one of society's signs I was lost, in a world of delusion and dreams Child's play, child's dreams, it was tough to be me I struggled to open my eyes and see That to be accepted I had to fit with society I punched someone in the face I couldn't see the consequences at stake I joked about it after I pa**ed that phase But I cried when I got in trouble that day [Chorus] [VERSE 2] A year later I still struggled I couldn't stay out of trouble Cos my mind was muddled and jumbled I couldn't work out life's puzzle I hated my life, frustrated with strife So I went and disobeyed the rules of life I knew I'd get in trouble but not all the time But I felt good when I did bad so I thought it was right I was an innocent child but guilt took it's turn Blind to the fact that when you make mistakes you learn I got hated more, reputation burned My life was a beast that I hadn't mastered I hit people, I was accused of stalking girls I lived my life like I was a born sinner A bored k**er, but I didn't have weapons to k** Or lyrics to k**, so I didn't k** I just envisioned the thrill I had a violent mind, I thought about homicide At one point I thought about suicide It took a while for me to get re-humanised I wanted to have power but I was just juvenile However I found the highlight of my year I started to make my backstory, my vision was clear Not fully but this was a start I finally found something that stayed in my heart Although it was worth it, the struggle was hard It was stained on my mind like a watermark Thoughts flooding my mind, now it's waterlogged Life was targeting me like I was the cause Well I kinda was, I couldn't find my flaws I tried in life but I couldn't fight it off I couldn't tell if people were lying cos Girls broke my mind like a spinal cord So my mind's dead, but my body's not Seems cliched rapping but girls and thots No she wasn't a thot but she was hot In brief, I met her and was accused of stalking her But that was just the start of this road I'm talking of No we didn't go out, this was friendship, not love I found my backstory but it took four years of Goodness and evil but my life was worth it all [Chorus] Dreaming about success I know I'm not the best but I Want to be the best So I pray All alone and I'm lost I'm lost Trying to find a way out (to find a way out) Trying to find some help (to find some help) I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else) So I pray, yeah I'm lost I'm lost [VERSE 3] The next year I faced bigger struggles Got hated more, laid in the trouble But not breaking rules, that's a different tunnel I was living my life in the dissing jungle I screwed up worse, I couldn't prick this bubble Life hit me hard like I'd hit with knuckles Hormones hit me, I wasn't used to being teen I never gave a damn about y'all haters being mean I never cared about how I was seen In the back of the cla** while y'all hoes daydream I didn't rap then so I didn't diss I'd have got myself respected if I had one wish Actually I wouldn't, I'd have wished myself rich So I wouldn't have to go to school cos I'd quit I wouldn't need a job or anything like that Cos I'd go to the bank and invest all my cash Anyway, back to the school crap To the school crap, cos I care about all that I found out more about myself and life But I still had to put up with all that strife My backstory evolved along with myself But with all the haters, it still felt like hell I started to break out of my shell I was there for myself whenever I fell [Chorus] Dreaming about success I know I'm not the best but I Want to be the best So I pray All alone and I'm lost I'm lost Trying to find a way out (to find a way out) Trying to find some help (to find some help) I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else) So I pray, yeah I'm lost I'm lost [VERSE 4] Year 10 I climbed out of struggle's ditches But I still didn't know not to trust the snitches Hoes' flows got me down low I thought they were friends but they were all foes Fact of the day, don't trust no hoes They'll lie just to make your insecurities show I didn't know no else besides what my bro told Go walk your own path, don't follow Screw peer pressure Han, I'm solo Just try to avoid the worst scenario So you now know what could go wrong Saying stuff the hoes, that's how we roll Don't flow with no hoes that's no go that's so low The poll shows no hoes show emotion although no One knows if someone's a hoe until they show no [Quid pro quo](If you take something, you give back) so they get none but the hoes get it all I thought I was friends with these snitches They were on my hit list, hit list meaning those I be hitting on So no I wasn't k**ing but now I'd be stealing Their reputation like I'd do degradation Getting them back for when they wrecked my place in The reputation ladder just cos I was hated Well through my eyes I was first they should've been second place in That school overall, life and education [Chorus] Dreaming about success I know I'm not the best but I Want to be the best So I pray All alone and I'm lost I'm lost Trying to find a way out (to find a way out) Trying to find some help (to find some help) I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else) So I pray, yeah I'm lost I'm lost [VERSE 5] In my last year I knew that I'd be leaving So to make it through I had to start believing In myself so I blanked out these mean beings Just ignored everything like I be sleeping I stopped caring bout the hate I was receiving If there was one piece of advice that I'd give It would be that visions can be deceiving Those hoes like T-Rexes when it comes to meat eating So I planned a big change about 3 weeks in Grow up, leave everyone when I'm released and Live a new life like I've just re-conceived it Leave my friends and haters, be a new me Although I planned good, it wasn't all easy I met those 2 hoes I wished dead for 3 seasons Well now it's been a year and 13 weeks I left my past, now I'm living life freely Only things I kept were lifetime friends and family Now I know how to see past the blasphemy See through the lies to the actuality My whole life was a lie 'til I faced reality I developed my whole backstory after these years I fought through blood, sweat and these tears After all this time, my vision's cleared I went through shed-loads of problems but I'm still here So there's my backstory, pen to paper If you want more details I'll tell you later So that's all I've got, backstory and lore Now that I've told you mine, what's yours? [Chorus]