CurlE - Wonder lyrics

[Verse 1: CurlE] Wonder why I'm here Fighting through them tears These written rhymes realize blue skies near For a moment, lose grasp, never do I hold it The clouds roll back like waves crash from the ocean And I'm hoping, the bullsh** I deal with will balance out To leave me with a cheek to cheek grin stating that I'm happy now I ain't happy now I'm dealing with the stress Of fiending to be the best Best believe me I'm bringing the best Every single thing I spit is a little piece of me I give I guess it's just make believe to believe life ain't sh** With the heartache and the sadness Breaking off the mask when It looks worth the risk but the f**ing odds are stacked against it You pick up your mask Build up your walls Never looking back People f** em all I'm coming off with a lack of apathy It has to be like that only gaf about me till I get my life back Get my mind back Or get that time that I wasted waiting and chasing trying to get your eyes back Time lapse but it's all the same sh** Girls with different names but the pain's the same, I admit So I drink another fifth, I'm numb to the pain I can feel you on my lips, so now I'm chugging the thing Drunken defeat.. I wonder when the f** d**h's finally coming for me [Hook: CurlE] This is my life in the script of the song If I ever f**ing die this is my suicide note Take a look at the sky, it stays as grey as they come Take a look at my life, this is my suicide note X2