Crudbump - Subprime Lenders lyrics

Hold on, I'll be with you in a minute Monday morning and I'm driving to a house There's a man at the house, and he says that he wants to buy the house And that's fine But I said, you know, you look like a man who can appreciate a bigger house He looks at me and agrees So we drive down the street and there's a bigger house, and an even bigger house And I say, which one do you want? Just kidding, you want the biggest house I can see it in your eyes Subprime lenders going on benders (I'll f** your credit up) Subprime lenders going on benders (Oh, you thought you could afford that house?) Now it's Tuesday morning and I woke up with a headache Had a couple whiskies, which didn't help the headache But it made me feel better about waking up And I drove downtown, on the street Alady is waiting at the bus stop And she has three kids or four kids with her I roll down the window and say, do you want a house? I think you want a house I think you could live in a house Come with me, put the kids in the trunk Subprime lenders going on benders (I'll f** your credit up) Subprime lenders going on benders (You thought you could afford that house?) And it's Wednesday morning and my mouth's real dry So I have three, four whiskies and get in the car And decide to go camp out on the lawn of a nice house The man comes out and tries to get the paper and I hand him the paper But I say, hey, are you sure you don't want a bigger house? Your house is okay but I think you could use a bigger house And he says, well... And I say, you look like a man who can appreciate the finer things in life Come on, we can do this Subprime lenders going on benders (I'll f** your credit up) Subprime lenders going on benders (Oh, you thought you could afford that house?) Thursday morning rolls around so I have a double whiskey and a triple whiskey It's about 5 whiskies in all You have to split them up so they fit in the cup holder Which is fine I went to a party with some other lenders last night and it was fun It was reasonably fun One of them said hey Do you ever feel guilty about selling people houses they can't afford? I looked at him and said no And that was the truth Subprime lenders going on benders (I'll f** your credit up) Subprime lenders going on benders (You could never afford that house.) Now it's Friday and I don't have to go to work, because I work four-day weeks Because I want to Because it's just fine You know, I made enough commissions this week to afford about 86,400 whiskies And I think that's a good clip I could buy other stuff with the money I could upgrade my house Maybe I'll buy a giant house that I can't afford Just kidding Subprime lenders going on benders (I'll f** your credit up) Subprime lenders going on benders (There's no way you can afford that house.) Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug Come on, chug it, chug it Chug the mortgage, chug the mortgage, you can afforgage Chug the mortgage Drink it up, you'll be paying it off, or not paying it off Or you'll get foreclosed, or, I don't know