Now, if I was a bricklayer I wouldn't build just anything; And if I was a ball player I wouldn't play no second string And if I were some j**elry, baby; Lord, I'd have to be a diamond ring If I were a secret, Lord, I never would be told If I were a jug of wine, Lord, my flavor would be old I could be most anything But it got to be twenty-four karat solid gold, oh If I were a gambler, You know I'd never lose And if I were a guitar player Lord, I'd have to play the blues If I was a hacksaw, My blade would be razor sharp If I were a politician, I could prove that monkeys talk You can find the tallest building Lord, I'd have me the house on top Oh, let's go! All right, keep going! I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I got nothing to my name I'm the Penthouse Pauper; baby I got nothing to my name I can be most anything 'Cause when you got nothing it's all the same Oh, let's move to this song! Lord, look at my penthouse