Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick Cuz the old b**h whelped and the puppies took sick Bring your little black bag with the medicines in Bring the tranq and the crank and the penicillicin Well I know you been busy pullin' all them calves But you got somethin' that the other vets don't have Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick Whatever you got's really doin' the trick Bring your little black bag with the medicines in Bring the tranq and the crank and the penicillicin Bring some for my sow, bring some for my ewe, For my jill, for my cow, bring some for me too Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick A dip and a drench, a mineral lick Bring your little black bag with the medicines in Bring the juice and the bute and the buprenorphin' Of any other cure I like your remedy most And what you keep in your mind when you measure the dose Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you I ain't never been taught, I ain't never been schooled I never spent 5 long years down east Learning everything about the bird and the beast I'm just a layman, I'm not like you I can't diagnose nothin', ain't got no clue Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you But whatever she got, I caught the same thing too Yeah, whatever she caught, I caught the same thing too Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick Draw the syringe and give it a flick Bring your little black bag with the medicines in Bring the tranq and the crank and the penicillicin Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you. But I can read on the bottle, I can read on the tube Yeah, I can read on the bottle, I can read on the tube "For human use this has not been approved"