Cold Duck Complex - None of the Above lyrics

[Intro] [Verse 1] Yo, the art of hip hip is reborn when I enter I chill with Cold duck and head South for the winter We into douces some jazzy-type funk Add a pinch o' Parliament, The Felonious Monk The phonies get crunk and drunk In the back of the club We go above movin' posteriors and showin' love We got Jeff D who press keys with his digits (Oh Yeah) And on ba** we got Joe C, but not the midget And last but not least droppin' beats with ease I be Maciah blessin' ya'll like God when you sneeze All MCs better listen closely when I'm flowin' Cause when I'm rockin' yo there ain't no tellin' where I'm goin' So without need for any further ado I say peace to k**er bees and my 6 Floor crew Put the drinks on ice and let the Cold Duck thaw A lot a people like to cook but yo I like it raw [Verse 2] Yo check it out (Haha, do this) It's the mad scientist, drinkin' beer out of a beaker I'm Platypus Complex man, pleased to meet ya Vaguely reminiscent of a primitive creature But the only extra cheese I ever got was on a pizza Beats are nice, the rhymes kinda s** Ya asking if I'm down, yeah down on my luck An odd duck showin' up at the potluck I'm awestruck, aw shucks I think I got my balls stuck In my zipper, I'm softer than a slipper The only time I saw a girl naked I had to tip her Nose-picker, no I'm not very hygenic And the voices in my head keep tellin' me "I'm schizophrenic" And when it comes to gettin' in the booty I'm hapless I've gotten less play than Rudy Truly not a player so I guess that I'm a hater I don't smoke the chronic, I'm a chronic masterbater The long waver, puberty's got me exhasperated Mom says I'm a late bloomer but could it be that belated Dilapidated, half a**, wack, emasculated Mascarading like I'm nice, walkin' like I'm fast and plated I'm va**ilated, indecisively procrastinated Like to say I'm ill but I'd be lyin' cause I'm vaccinated That stated, my rap flow's evaporated Think I might was well go have my wind pipe lacerated [Bridge] [Verse 3] Hah, I bet you thought that I was done But nah, I ain't stoppin' till I'm rockin' number 1 Like who, Benny Hardaway a fine white-like chardonnay I spread more seeds than conservationists on Arbor Day I gotta say, in all modesty that I be a hotter ticket than your local state lottery At the thought of me rappers brains start to blister I rock shows got more flow than Price Vista It's the, nicest kids and pistol bargers I get crowds loose like electrical ma**agers I'm not larger than life, but better than you And yo I get heads hyper like amphetamines do I'm lacking melanin true, but I'm a veteran who Unsigned shows that one mind is better than two Get you wetter than brew, you think I'm peddlin' glue The way this sh**, that is little gettin' better than you So don't settle for crews who drop rhymes it's just pathetic Yo my home crew drain rap games like diuretics Diabetics better look out, my sh**'s sweeter Whippin' embryonic MCs like egg beaters You wanna battle? Then yo you better practice Beatin' me's more of a stretch than my jimmy in prophelactics ba*tards laughin' while my beats still rap flow All domesticated so I'm goin' international Is that so? Actually that's a fact yo Embarra**ed than parents that ask in a chateau Bad hold, feel the fury of my rap flow Cause when it comes to honeys I mack more than Apple (come on) [Verse 4] So you tell me, do I look like a fool? If the answer is yess then you can sample my stool Hah, who's the man who eliminates fakes? It's ABC-a-me so which one will you take? If your answer is me, wrong I don't eliminate 'em I just sit talking sh**, like a b**h how I hate 'em Wait um, enough self deprication I thought rapping was all about ego inflation It might blow up, but it won't get bigger You mean I could get paid just to say I pulled the trigger That's outlandish And yo I can't stand it Cause the only get phony when the camera, come pan this Burned, you think they had dicks like Dirk The way they limping bowlegged with that fake a** smirk And what's worse, you can see that they never had sk**s But a loud enough voice will get your name on the bill? You wanna learn something son? Pa** it to me Bachelors, yeah I got my Master's degree And I'm not ashamed to say I've got a PhD A Post-doctorate in cold-sockin' it to corny MCs Like that!