Clem Snide - Mike Kalinsky lyrics

mike kalinsky had asthma he was often absent from school but he still performed well on tests & quizzes so all the other kids felt like fools mike kalinsky had asthma spinning bottles never pointed his way you see, he had difficulty breathing so he couldn't participate in sports and all the jocks said he was gay there is no cure for asthma but does anyone even care? mike kalinsky spent high school alone in his bedroom listening to joy division and the misfits and going nowhere and years pa**ed i forgot all about him and then one night, i was hanging out at a local rock club checking out a band a friend of mine said i really shouldn't miss and there he was, singing a song that went a little something like this: 'i couldn't even blow out a simple match'