Cledus T. Judd - Coronary Life lyrics

Parody of Ordinary Life by Chad Brock (Connie Harrington/Bonnie Baker), Magnolia Hill Music (ASCAP) (A division of McSpadden-Smith Music LLC). New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC) Cledus at the kitchen table Short of breath, legally disabled Wife walks in, she's so surprised Can't believe I'm still alive I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy That patty melt that you always made me But I can't eat that anymore They say grease k**s; Tastes good to me Day in, day out it's all I eat My third bypa**, unclogged the valves Just to clog them again Never felt worse; A constant thirst Lordy how my left arm hurts I blame my job, I blame my wife For this coronary life Cledus on the ER table Vital signs ain't too stable Hey, Doc, I'm proud of you I didn't think that I'd pull through Later in Intensive Care I had the nurses laughing there So thankful Blue Cross will pay For the bills, my IVs Four thousand dollar EKGs That's the last time I need Angioplasty It's off I go to Tye-Bo To improve my cardio It's about time I said goodbye To my coronary life Sweat's pouring off me at the health spa The Stairmaster's wore me out again You know I can't believe how much I miss The way I used to live I'd eat red meat, Pickled pigs feet Always craving something sweet My food was fast, But that's the past I can't eat fat again Aerobicize, Reduced my thighs No more German chocolate pie I miss my fudge, I miss my fries And my coronary life