Cledus T. Judd - Indian In-Laws lyrics

They're my Indian in-laws Came to visit me and my squaw Been here for a month y'all I'm 'bout to lose my mind I'm sick and tired of her paw-paw Eatin' all of my bear claws While he's watchin' ol Hee-Haw And drinkin all my wine I'm gonna scalp her maw-maw Making long distance phone calls To her friends in Arkansas Talkin' on my dime They're my Indian in-laws They're drivin' me up the dang wall Using all of my dental floss And leaving the room smelling bad (Shoo-ee) They moved into my wigwam God Almighty they're big bums Order filet mignons And stick me with the tab They're hanging 'round my teepee Can't wear my buffalo briefs Ain't had me no whoopee since week for last They're my Indian in-laws Hooked on Ex-Lax and Geritol Have to run 'em to the shopping mall 4 times a day (Every single day, seven days a week My nerves are about shot They are worryin' me to d**h) Sittin' there clipping toenails Chain-smoking them Pell Mells Wish they'd get them a motel But they're too cheap to pay Pretty soon if they don't leave I'll take a pipe and pop his knee Like Tanya did Nancy They're skating on thin ice I'll take my bow and arrow Pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow I might miss and uh-oh, Hit her maw-maw's behind They're my Indian in-laws Might be kin to Tim McGraw But they kin to me? Naw Might have to leave my wife 'Cause my Indian in-laws Came to visit me and my squaw I'm about to lose my mind Oh, one little, two little, three little Indians Four little, five little, six little Indians Seven little, eight little, nine little Indians Ten little Indian in-laws Oh no! Here comes her brother and her other brother Then there's her sister that brought her aunt Essie with her She's got two kids and they brought two friends The whole tribes a-comin' Couldn't they have just made a reservation