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She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars A quart of sweet tea, and fried pork skins Can't get enough, eat still she's stuffed Goes to the bathroom, then she comes back again She thinks she looks just like Madonna When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleached blonde hair Most times she'll place another order And Lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair She's got a bu*t bigger than the Beatles Eatin' me outta house and home Her booty size well it outta be illegal She has a hard time sittin' on the throne Hamburgers, hotdogs Cheese fries and coleslaw A dozen bear claws Yum, yum, yum Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks Takes up both seats in a two seater car Her doctor said, "Lay off the bread" But he didn't say nothing 'bout a Snickers bar She drinks sweet milk by the gallon And she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine Then she'll lay, spread out on the hammock After she's done her damage at the Dairy Queen She's got a bu*t bigger than the Beatles Folks make fun cause she's overgrown Her rumps shaped like a Volkswagen Beetle She gives new meaning to the words big boned Bagels and cream cheese Vanilla ice cream A tub of whip cream Yum, yum, yum No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame Down at Jenny Craig's When she clean's 'em out at the Waffle house They'll bring in more ham and eggs She's got a bu*t bigger than the Beatles Her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs It's wide enough to play line backer for the Eagles Dion Sanders better leave her alone Tried chicken that steak Or a fat free milk shake Enough for God's sake's Stop the insanity Weight watchers, yeah Weight watchers, yeah Yeah I watched her weight I watched it go from 117 and a quarter when I married her To 317 and a half, two and a half years latter But I still love ya honey