Shiny bu*ton-down clown suit Oxymoron Expand the simplest of chores Oxymoron Mr. Constant consternation And his declaration of war Makes a fist out of demands With his plasticene hands Matey makes a big big deal Oxymoron And Matey makes a big big meal Oxymoron Boasts of a conscience so big It means his uniform won't fit Cooking books and punching drunks Working for the real crooks The good cop Oxymoron The good cop Oxymoron I don't believe in the good cop At the ticket inspector 's party Oxymoron Prison guards eye store detectives Oxymoron All good fighters of crime Same repeated chat-up line: 'Are you well tooled up? Come and have a go if you think You're hard enough' Watch them tighten their straps Oxymoron Yes sir I switched on the taps Oxymoron Heads to crack, eyes to black Beaurocrats will cover your tracks Here's how dictatorships begin: Fools obey without thinking The good cop Oxymoron I don't believe in the good cop