Christopher Lloyd (producer) - The Bicycle Thief Script lyrics

ACT ONE 1 INTERVIEW -- JAY JAY: What's the key to being a great dad? Boy that's a tough one... 1A INTERVIEW -- MITCHELL AND CAMERON CAMERON: Giving them freedom to be whatever they want to be... Mitchell is about to start speaking when: CAMERON (CONT'D): Whether that's a painter or a pilot or president Mitchell starts to speak again, but: CAMERON (CONT'D): Of a company or a country. Mitchell waits an extra beat to be sure he's done, then: MITCHELL: Patience. 1B INTERVIEW -- PHIL PHIL: Be their buddy. CLAIRE (O.S.): That's your answer? PHIL: And don't do d**. 1C INTERVIEW -- JAY JAY: Still thinking. 2 EXT. DUNPHY HOUSE -- STREET -- DAY Phil and Claire are out on the street riding bikes. A SEXY NEIGHBOR, DESIREE, MID-30S, dressed in a jogging outfit, is out running. She sees Claire and stops to say hello, Phil lags behind. DESIREE: Hi, how are you doing? CLAIRE: Oh, hi. Desiree stops to chat. Claire feels compelled to stop as well. CLAIRE (CONT'D): This is my son Luke and my husband Phil.(to Phil) And this is... DESIREE: Desiree. CLAIRE: Right. I'm sorry. (to Phil) Desiree just moved in down the street. PHIL: Fun. Where? DESIREE: Four-sixty-seven. PHIL: Oh, the two bedroom colonial with the indoor/outdoor family room. DESIREE: Very good. How did you -- PHIL: Bet you're enjoying that steam shower. CLAIRE: Phil, that's creepy. PHIL: I'm a real estate agent. We caravaned that house. Great deck. DESIREE: Thanks. I'm just there ‘til my divorce is final. CLAIRE: Well, nice to see you. PHIL: We'll have to have you over sometime. DESIREE: I'd love it. Desiree races off. Phil and Claire start riding again. CLAIRE: We are never having her over. I heard she slept with two dads at the school already. PHIL: What? That is horrible. Phil turns his head to see if he can glimpse Desiree. He almost loses control of his bike, swerving into the path of an oncoming Luke who rides a girl's bicycle that's been given a half-a**ed makeover in an attempt to make it look more like a boy's bike. LUKE:(ringing his girly bell) Watch out! PHIL: Sorry. Phil pedals next to Claire. PHIL (CONT'D): You know, honey, I'm trying, but it bums me out seeing Luke on Haley's old bike. 2A INTERVIEW - PHIL AND CLAIRE PHIL: My son, who is a boy, is riding a girl's bike. CLAIRE: Because he is irresponsible. He spilled a soda on my computer, he broke our digital camera taking a picture of himself underwater with his Playstation. PHIL: It's a girl's bike. I'm all for teaching him a lesson, but I worry about the ridicule he might get from some loudmouth bully. 2B EXT. DUNPHY HOUSE -- STREET -- CONTINUOUS They hear a CAR HORN BEEP. It's JAY in his car. JAY: (to Luke) Hey, nice bike, Sally. CLAIRE: (chastising) Dad! JAY: He looks like Little Bo Peep on that thing. PHIL: Actually, not for long. He's getting a new bike this afternoon. LUKE: I am? CLAIRE: He is? 3-4 OMITTED 5 INTERVIEW -- PHIL PHIL: Sometimes a man's gotta put his foot down and do what a man's gotta do. And if the old lady don't like it... (shout O.S.) Honey? He waits a beat. Nothing. PHIL (CONT'D): That's too damn bad. 6 INT. MITCHELL & CAMERON'S DUPLEX -- LIVING ROOM -- DAY Mitchell is holding Lily. MITCHELL: Cam, hurry up. We're going to be late. CAMERON (O.S.): It's Mommy and Me cla**, not a Broadway opening night. MITCHELL: We're going to be judged enough as the only gay parents, I don't want to be the late ones too. Cam enters. He is wearing white flowy pants with a pink shirt. MITCHELL (CONT'D): Really? Pink? Was there something wrong with your fishnet tank top? CAMERON: Obviously not, I'm wearing it underneath. (off his look) No, I'm not. Would you relax? MITCHELL: I'm sorry, I would just like to make a good first impression. CAMERON: You mean fit in? Not terrify the villagers? MITCHELL: It's for Lily. Her future best friend could be in that cla** and I don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. Could you just change your shirt? CAMERON: Fine, I'll throw on some khakis and a polo shirt, maybe everyone will think we're a couple of straight golf buddies who decided to have a kid together. 7 OMITTED 8 INT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE -- KITCHEN -- DAY Jay enters the kitchen, where Gloria is sitting eating breakfast. JAY: Hey, I called the place in Napa and upgraded us to a villa with a hot tub. So pack whatever you'd wear in a hot tub. GLORIA: I usually wear nothing in a hot tub. JAY: And my college roommate's wife just had to get a new hip. s**er. 9 INTERVIEW -- JAY & GLORIA GLORIA: Manny's father is taking him to Disneyland for a couple days so we are going away to the wine country. JAY: We're gonna drink some wine, have a few laughs. We'd do stuff like this much more often, but, you know... there's Manny. GLORIA: It's good. He keeps us grounded. JAY: Yeah, like fog at an airport. 10 INT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE -- KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS JAY: So the limo's coming at four. This morning, I thought I'd go over to the club and hit a few balls. GLORIA: What about the ceiling fan in Manny's room? JAY: Oh, yeah. Just call a guy. GLORIA: No, you do it with Manny. It's important to teach him how to do things for himself. In my culture, men take great pride in physical labor. JAY: I know. That's why I hire people from your culture. GLORIA: That's very funny. I will share that with my next husband while we are spending your money. 11 OMITTED 12 INT. BIKE SHOP - DAY Phil and Luke are wheeling a brand new black, macho-looking bike out of the bike shop. LUKE: Dad, this is the coolest bike ever. PHIL: So, listen, buddy. There are certain members of this family who don't think you can take care of this bad boy. LUKE: You mean Mom? PHIL: I'm not comfortable saying. LUKE: Is it you? PHIL: No. LUKE: Then it's gotta be Mom. PHIL:Drop that, okay. Look, Mom and I are a team and we both think of this as a chance for you to show some responsibility. Don't make us look like jerks here. LUKE: I won't. PHIL: Okay... then have fun. LUKE: Thanks, Dad. If I take care of this bike, can we get a dog? PHIL: I'm cool with it, but Mom says no. Luke rides off on his bike. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO 12A INTERVIEW -- GLORIA GLORIA: In Colombia there is a saying: If you have two stubborn burros who don't like each other, you tie them to the same cart. The cart is the ceiling fan. (pleased with herself) I know. Is good, right? 13 INT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE -- MANNY'S ROOM -- LATER Jay and Manny are in Manny's room. The ceiling fan parts are spread out on the floor. JAY: So, let's do this. MANNY: Do I have to? JAY: If I have to, you have to. MANNY: Okay, but I need to be done by three. That's when my dad's picking me up. JAY: (re: fan) Hey, if we're not done by three, I'm hanging a noose from this thing. MANNY: My dad's taking me on Space Mountain. It's supposed to be scary, but he's not scared of anything. He doesn't even wear a seat belt when he drives. JAY: Wow. How about that? MANNY: He k**ed a bear once. JAY: Was the bear in the pa**enger seat? (then) Read me the instructions. Manny opens the book. MANNY: “Safety tips-- warning: To reduce the risk of electrical shock--” JAY: Yeah, we can skip that part. MANNY: They also mention the possibility of a fire. (reading) “Failure to heed these warnings can lead to serious injury or d**h--” JAY: You worry too much, you know that? There's gonna be no fires and nobody's gonna get shocked. MANNY: One time my dad was struck by lightning. That's why he can drink as much as he wants. 14 INTERVIEW -- JAY JAY: Manny thinks his dad is Superman. The truth? He's a total flake. In fact, the only way he's like Superman is that they both landed in this country illegally. 15 OMITTED 16 INT. MOMMY AND ME CLASS - DAY Mitchell and Cameron stand just inside the door. They look around and find a room full of extremely straight parents and their future straight kids. MITCHELL: I don't know why I'm so nervous. CAMERON: They'll love us. Let's just be ourselves. MITCHELL: Or, a slightly toned-down version of ourselves. MITCHELL (CONT'D): (off Cameron's look) Let's not make this an episode of “The Cam Show”. CAMERON: People love “The Cam Show”. MITCHELL: Yes, I know. CAMERON: It's appointment viewing. Mitchell shushes him as a young woman, DANIELLE, approaches them. DANIELLE: Hi. Are you here for Mommy and Me? CAMERON: Yes. Sans Mommy, obviously. MITCHELL: I'm Mitchell, this is Cameron, and this is Lily. DANIELLE: Well, welcome. We're all over here taking turns blowing bubbles. CAMERON: Well, how nice for -- Mitchell nudges him. CAMERON (CONT'D): The babies. 17 - 18 OMITTED 19 EXT. ARCADE - DAY Phil is walking through town. Something catches his eye. We see A BIKE on the sidewalk leaning against a signpost. It's the bike Phil just bought for Luke. Phil walks over to the bicycle, looks around for Luke. 20 INTERVIEW -- PHIL PHIL: Thirty minutes after he made a promise to me, he left his bike unlocked. PHIL (CONT'D): All I could hear was Claire's voice in my head: (in a high, screechy voice that sounds nothing like Claire) “He's not responsible. You never should have given him a bike.” (then, proudly) I know, I do a pretty good Claire. 21 EXT. ARCADE -- CONTINUOUS As Phil hops on Luke's bike. PHIL (V.O.): So I decided to teach him a lesson and let him think his bike was stolen. I know it sounds kinda rough but sometimes a Dad's job is to be the tough guy. Phil wobbles off on the undersized bike, maneuvering through people on the sidewalk. PHIL (CONT'D): Excuse me! On your left! 22 INT. MOMMY AND ME CLASS -- DAY All of the parents and kids have formed a circle. DANIELLE: Everyone, we have a new friend joining us today. Lily. And these are her parents. MITCHELL: Hello, I'm Mitchell and I'm a lawyer. And this is Cam. CAMERON: (deep voice) Howdy. 23 OMITTED 24 INT. MOMMY AND ME CLASS -- CONTINUOUS DANIELLE: We'll start with our Hello Dance, move on to blocks and finger painting, and then we'll do our family dance. Who wants to start us? Dance us in, P.J. P.J.'s mom goes into the center of the circle holding P.J. and does a little dance. During the dance, a mom, HELEN, turns to Mitchell. HELEN: (re: Lily) She's adorable. Seven months? MITCHELL: Eight. HELEN: Oh, same as Tyler. Is she scooting or grabbing yet? MITCHELL: Totally, when she's not grabbing, she's scootin'. DANIELLE: Dance us in, Tyler. Helen takes Tyler and she dances in the center of the circle. Mitchell turns to Cameron. MITCHELL: (concerned) Lily doesn't grab or scoot. CAMERON: Not yet, but she will. MITCHELL: (looking around) But a lot of them are grabbing. Mitchell picks up a block and holds it in front of Lily. MITCHELL (CONT'D): Lily, honey, take the block. Take the “H”. She puts her hand on it. The minute Mitchell lets go, it falls to the floor. DANIELLE: Dance us in, Lily. CAMERON: I'll take her. MITCHELL: Cam... CAMERON: Yes, I know. I'll tamp down my natural gifts and dance like a straight guy. MITCHELL: No slapping your own bu*t. CAMERON: But that's how I make the horse go. Cameron takes Lily in the center. He does a VERY STIFF, AWKWARD DANCE then rejoins Mitchell. MITCHELL: That was very good. CAMERON: I feel dirty. 25 EXT. STREET -- DAY Phil is pedaling Luke's bike toward home when he sees someone waving him down. It's Desiree. DESIREE: Hi, again. Phil is slightly uncomfortable because of Claire's earlier warning. PHIL: Hey. DESIREE: This is really embarra**ing, but I locked myself out of the house. PHIL: Oh, I do it all the time. Don't be embarra**ed. He starts to pedal away. DESIREE: I was hoping -- Phil stops. DESIREE (CONT'D): There's an open window but I need a boost. Can you help me? 26 INTERVIEW -- PHIL PHIL: (as Claire) “You stay away from that homewrecker. She'll seduce you. You're too handsome.”(then) Do I find her attractive? Yes. Would I ever act on it? No. No way. Not while my wife is still alive. 27 EXT. STREET -- LATER Phil walks back out with Desiree. DESIREE: Thanks again. You sure I can't offer you something to drink? PHIL: (glancing at camera) No, I'm fine. Really. 28 INTERVIEW -- PHIL PHIL: (as Claire but spookier) “I'm very proud of you, Phil. You showed tremendous self-control.” (then)That's Claire as a ghost. 29 EXT. STREET -- CONTINUOUS DESIREE: If I knew I'd have a man climb into my bedroom window, I would have cleaned up a bit. PHIL: Don't worry. It smelled really nice.(beat) Not that I was -- Phil notices... THE BIKE IS MISSING. PHIL (CONT'D): Huh. DESIREE: What's wrong? PHIL: My bike is gone. Phil starts wildly looking up and down the street for it. DESIREE: Oh no, can I help you look for it? PHIL: No, that's all right, I'll -- He notices her already bending over to look under her car. PHIL (CONT'D): Okay, can't hurt to take a peek. END OF ACT TWO ACT THREE 30 INT BIKE SHOP - A LITTLE WHILE LATER Phil is speaking to a salesman. PHIL: So, to teach him a lesson, I took his bike and then -- crazy thing -- I put the bike down for a minute and someone swipes it from me. BIKE SALESMAN: Maybe that was your dad teaching you a lesson. PHIL: I don't think so... He lives in Florida. (taking out his credit card) So, one more just like the last one. BIKE SALESMAN: You wanna go for the insurance this time? PHIL: I knew you were going to bring that up. Yeah, give me the insurance. 31 INT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE - MANNY'S ROOM - LATER Jay and Manny are still working. Jay is standing on a chair, affixing the fan blades to the blade arm. Manny is below him, looking at the manual. Gloria enters with two gla**es of lemonade. GLORIA: I thought you two could use a drink. JAY: You have no idea. GLORIA: Manny, I have to go pick up some things for our trip. You have fun with your father and I'll see you Monday. She hugs him. GLORIA (CONT'D): It makes me so happy to see my two boys working together. MANNY: Jay shocked himself twice. JAY: Okay, Manny. MANNY: I warned him. JAY: Yep, you've been a big help all day. GLORIA: Look at you two with your private jokes. You're a regular Salazar and El Oso. Off Jay's blank look: 32 INTERVIEW - GLORIA GLORIA: Very big comedy team in Colombia. El Oso was always hitting Salazar with the ladder and things. And sometimes they wear dresses. They make you laugh, but they also make you think. 33 OMITTED34 INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - DAY Phil knocks on Luke's door. PHIL: Luke? You there? He opens the door. Luke is on his bed, playing a video game, or looking at something on his computer. LUKE: Hey, Dad. PHIL: That was pretty fun today, huh. Gettin' a new bike. LUKE: Yeah, it was awesome. PHIL: So how'd it go after we split up? Anything you want to share with me? Luke looks nervously at his dad. LUKE: Not really. PHIL: So if I went into the garage to take a picture for the scrapbook, there'd be no surprises. Luke breaks down. LUKE: I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. I just made a mistake. PHIL: Yeah, a big mistake. And you're making me look really bad. I told Mom you were ready for this. LUKE: It's just a scratch, Dad! PHIL: That's not the point, Luke -- what? LUKE: I'm not used to the bar that makes it a boy's bike and I hit it with the lock when I put it in the garage. PHIL: Right. 35 INTERVIEW -- PHIL PHIL: The good news is, Luke has his bike. More good news, I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike. 36 EXT. DUNPHY HOUSE -- DRIVEWAY -- DAY Phil checks if the coast is clear, then throws the duplicate bike onto the bike rack on his car. He quickly gets in his car and starts backing down the driveway during the following: 37 INT. PHIL'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS PHIL (V.O.):So, I figure I'll just dump the new bike where I stole the first one. That way, random kid gets his back, and the new bike doesn't raise a lot of embarra**ing questions like why I had it or who boosted who through a bedroom window. Everybody's happy. Phil finishes backing up, looks forward and sees standing in front of him: CLAIRE. 38 INT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE -- MANNY'S ROOM -- LATER Jay works while Manny fidgets. JAY: Son of a -- you gave me the wrong screwdriver. MANNY: Maybe you're just using it wrong. My dad's great with tools. He can get the wheels off a car in less than a minute. Manny hands Jay the screwdriver. Jay takes it, but when he does, a FAN BLADE falls, and HITS MANNY. MANNY (CONT'D): Ow! JAY: Sorry. MANNY: I think my arm is broken. JAY: Oh, relax, it's not broken. MANNY: How do you know? You don't know anything. You have no concern for safety. JAY: It didn't hit you that hard. MANNY: It almost cut my head off. JAY: Give me a break. It was an accident. MANNY: You tried to k** me. JAY: Save the drama for one of your little poems. MANNY: Why don't you just say it, you don't want me around. JAY: Not right now, I don't. MANNY: I don't want to be with you either. I want to go wait for my dad. Manny starts out. JAY: (mocking) But if you leave, how will I ever finish? Manny stops. MANNY: You know what? I wish you never married my mom. I hate living here. JAY: How do you think I feel? I got a two-seater in the driveway! Manny exits. Jay watches him and finally tosses the screwdriver in disgust. END OF ACT THREE ACT FOUR 39 EXT. DUNPHY HOUSE -- DRIVEWAY -- DAY Phil and Claire are talking in the driveway. CLAIRE: So why are you trying to sneak around me? I actually think the whole situation's pretty funny. PHIL: You do? CLAIRE: Yeah, you steal some poor kid's bike by mistake and then it gets stolen from you. (beat)That's hilarious. PHIL: (laughing) Cla**ic me, right? CLAIRE: So, where were you when it got stolen? PHIL: Oh, I was getting gas. CLAIRE: Don't you stand right next to your car when you get gas? PHIL: Yeah, but then I went inside to get a soda because I was thirsty, and if I had a soda I wouldn't be thirsty anymore, so I bought one and I drank it all right there, which is why I don't have the can. CLAIRE: Okay. And from now on can we remember I'm your wife, not your mom? You don't have to sneak around and hide things from me. PHIL: Okay. They hug. Phil looks over Claire's shoulder and sees DESIREE coming up the driveway towards them, pushing the bike. Claire starts to pull away and Phil tightens the hug and starts leading Claire back into the house. PHIL (CONT'D): Get back here, you! CLAIRE: Phil, you're kind of hurting me. PHIL: I just love ya so darn much! CLAIRE: Phil, what are you do-- DESIREE (O.S.): Hi again! Claire turns to see Desiree rolling the bike up the driveway. DESIREE (CONT'D): I found your bike. PHIL: Oh, good! At the gas station? DESIREE: No, one of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage when you were in my bedroom. PHIL: So, all's well that ends well. (off Claire's glare) Cla**ic me? 40 INT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE -- MANNY'S ROOM -- DAY Jay, dressed for his trip, pours himself a drink. The PHONE RINGS. During the following, Jay looks out the window at Manny, who is sitting on the curb waiting for his dad. JAY (ON PHONE): Hello.(beat)Oh. Hey Javier. Manny's outside waiting for you. (beat) What? Why not? INTERVIEW -- JAY JAY: His son's sitting on the curb waiting to go to Disneyland and Superman can't drag himself away from a craps table. And I'm the jerk. 42 INT. MOMMY AND ME CLASS -- DAY A song ends and everybody claps. Cam is standing with Helen. CAMERON: So, seen any good movies lately? HELEN: Well, my husband and I just rented Mamma Mia last night. I liked it, but I'm not sure Meryl Streep was the right choice. What did you think? Cameron looks as if he's about to explode. 42A INTERVIEW -- CAMERON CAMERON: Excuse me, Meryl Streep could play Batman and be the right choice. She's perfection. Whether she's divorcing Kramer or wearing Prada and don't get me started on Sophie. Oh my god, I'm tearing up just thinking about it. (losing it) She couldn't forgive herself. 42B INT. MOMMY AND ME CLASS -- CONTINUOUS CAMERON: She seemed all right, I suppose. Nearby, Mitchell sits with Lily trying to get her to grasp a block. MITCHELL: Grab it. Grab it. Mitchell notices Danielle nearby talking to a set of parents and their child, who's stacked three blocks. DANIELLE: Henry's stacking? Good job, Henry! Mitchell hands Lily the block and again it falls to the ground. He notices Tyler nearby who's built a small tower of blocks. His mother, Helen, is now distracted on her cell phone. Mitchell then sees Danielle is occupied, and quickly switches the babies so Lily is now in front of the tower. MITCHELL: (for the cla**'s benefit) Lily, not too high. Danielle approaches. DANIELLE: Did Lily do that? Amazing. MITCHELL: I know, I turned my back for two seconds! DANIELLE: (calling a mother over) Helen, look at this. Look what Lily did. HELEN: Oh, wow. (then looking at the scattered blocks in front of Tyler, disappointed) Oh. DANIELLE: That's a big moment for her. Would you like a video tape of that? MITCHELL: I'm not sure I could get her to do it again. DANIELLE: (points to a mounted camera in the corner of the room) Oh, we tape all the cla**es for research purposes. INSERT VIDEO CAMERA FOOTAGE: Mitchell looks up into the camera like a deer in headlights. DANIELLE (CONT'D): I'll get you a copy at the end of cla**. MITCHELL: Super. As Danielle heads off, Mitchell scoops up Lily and goes over to Cameron who's sitting by himself. MITCHELL (CONT'D): We've got to get out of here. CAMERON: Fine by me. I'm not having a lot of fun since you clipped my wings. Which you used to be the wind beneath, by the way. Mitchell starts strapping Lily in the stroller. DANIELLE: Oh, look who's here. Anton and Scott! ANTON and SCOTT, two stylish, hip-looking GAY MEN come into the cla**, with an AFRICAN-AMERICAN BABY. ANTON: Sorry we're late! SCOTT: Don't look at me. The eye candy here can't leave the house without spending twenty minutes in front of the mirror. The parents laugh and greet them. Clearly this couple is a cla** favorite. CAMERON: (to Mitchell) Are you kidding me? MITCHELL: Ugh, let's just go. I made a total mess of this. I held you back and I stole a baby's intellectual property. CAMERON: What? MITCHELL: You'll see it on the news. Let's go. Mitchell and Cameron begin to leave as a disco beat starts to play. DANIELLE: Okay, parents, Family Dance. Everybody dance for your baby! Mitchell and Cam freeze. MITCHELL: (to Cam) You want to, don't you? CAMERON: I do. I do want to dance for my baby. Mitchell gives him the go sign and Cameron joins the dancers, quickly establishing himself as the best one out there, incorporating his trademark bu*t slapping. The place goes nuts. 43 EXT. JAY & GLORIA'S HOUSE - FRONT STEP - DAY Manny is outside still waiting for his father. Jay walks up. JAY: So listen, sorry, but I've got some bad news. MANNY: What? JAY: Your dad can't make it. MANNY: Why not? JAY: Well, the plane was full and there was an old lady who needed to get home so he gave up his seat. MANNY: You're making that up, aren't you? JAY: No. MANNY: He just didn't want to come. JAY: Are you kidding me? He was really upset. He was dying to see you. A LIMO pulls up. JAY (CONT'D): In fact, look what he sent for us. MANNY: A limo? JAY: Yeah. He wanted me and your mom to take you to Disneyland. Manny looks at Jay, he looks at the car. At that moment, there's pure joy on his face. MANNY: Wow, he's the best dad in the world. JAY: Yeah, he's a real prince. 44 INTERVIEW -- JAY JAY: Okay, the key to being a good dad? 45 EXT. DUNPHY HOUSE -- STREET -- DAY Phil and Luke ride their bikes together. JAY (V.O.): Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want... 46 OMITTED 47 INT. MITCHELL & CAMERON'S HOUSE -- LIVING ROOM -- DAY Mitch and Cam sit with Lily. As Mitchell hands her a block, she still can't grab it and drops it. JAY (V.O.): And sometimes they don't. You gotta hang in there. Mitchell hands her the block again. 48 OMITTED 49 INT. LIMOUSINE -- NIGHT Gloria, Jay, and Manny ride in the back. A sleeping Manny with Mickey Mouse ears leans his head on Jay's shoulder. JAY (V.O.): Because when all is said and done, ninety percent of being a dad... is just showing up. END OF ACT FOUR 50 EXT. ARCADE -- DAY Phil furtively rolls the bike to the spot he found it. He leans it against the wall, looks around, attempts to walk away when a kid's voice calls out. KID'S VOICE (O.S.): Hey! That's my bike! Phil takes off running.