Christian Borle - Love is Blind lyrics
MENDEL Sit down, my dear I hear you have a problem I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet Take a load off your feet- TRINA Love isn't s** That's something my husband told me Marvin, my ex- You've seen him for years- Told me over the phone to tell you my fears Do you only treat queers? MENDEL Breathe deep, my dear You'll find me understanding Your pain is a priori Unfold you untold story Now to break bread Loosen your glands Put your head in my hands TRINA I'm everything he wanted It's time I put it all together The date was set My father let me marry I married. I... Then Marvin came from work Sat me down on the bed He told me how he loved me How needed and/or valued me I have MENDEL What? MARVIN Syphilis TRINA He said MENDEL Good TRINA I have MENDEL Yes? MARVIN Syphilis TRINA It's true MENDEL Good TRINA I had something rotten Which appears though now it's well forgotten MARVIN Maybe, darling, so do you TRINA Maybe, darling, so do you TRINA I am probably diseased MENDEL You're a lovely girl TRINA And so easily appeased MENDEL What a lovely girl, though she's probably diseased TRINA He took pains to not excite us He explains I've MARVIN Hepatitis TRINA Too MARVIN, JASON, AND WHIZZER Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis MENDEL Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways TRINA Then I stayed home from work Took good care of my men They faked despair, they wet their bed They combed their hair, they acted dead One said MENDEL Yes? JASON Daddy is a prick MENDEL What? TRINA He said MENDEL Yes? JASON Daddy isn't mine MENDEL Good TRINA He filled my coats With candies and notes With "Will you be my valentine?" MARVIN (To Whizzer) Will you be my valentine? TRINA This gets harder to believe MENDEL You're a damaged girl TRINA I've a scalpel up my sleeve FOUR MEN What a damaged girl MENDEL Do not ever slit your wrists TRINA I've missed him; he's still missing Don't make noise, but daddy's kissing Boys ALL Petty, petty, petty, petty MENDEL AND TRINA Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways ALL Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways MARVIN Love is crazy Love is often boring Love stinks Love is pretty often debris When you find What you find. Then Never, never, never, never, never Do it over again OTHERS Love Love Love Love Love reads like a bad biography All the names are changed To protect the innocent Love Love ALL Love is blind MENDEL My name is Mendel I treat her husband I think she's very insecure But so am I I've never married Work, work is my pa**ion Or perhaps that's an alibi MARVIN You think? MENDEL I don't care to discuss it I think she's charming I think she's needy In just five sessions on my couch She'll be like new ALL His name is Mendel WHIZZER Ah-ah MENDEL Return next Friday I admit I admire you