Chris Moyles - Liar lyrics

I invented the wheel When I was only seven I had dinner with god When I popped into heaven When I was just eleven I've sailed right round the world In just a tiny dinghy I'm best mates with bill gates I made his computer thingy And I can lift a Mini Yes I can lift a mini Cos I'm a liar Can fly, so high Invented crisp and dry I am in charge when the red arrows fly by I'm a liar I've seen, The Queen Reading Nuts magazine She used to buy it but she now gets it For free I can eat a packet of crisps Whilst on a unicycle I was friends with the Hoff When people called him Michael It was my idea To do X Factor Not that Simon Cowell Cos I'm a liar You dig, I'm big I'm actually the stig Was brought up by a pig just outside of Leeds I'm a liar I dance, I cook Wrote Harry Potter books But let that lady say she did cos she Was nice Cos I'm a liar I'm a liar Sliced bread, invented sliced bread I did it with Joe Pesci sitting in a Garden shed Can climb a mountain Came up with wheelie bins And on the Starship Enterprise I am the captain Hob Nobs, invented Hob Nobs Whilst having lunch with Noddy Holder Eating meat cobs Daytime TV Is all made by me I come up with all the ideas Whist eating my tea I'm a liar/ I'm a liar