[HIS SWEETHEART] My high school sweetheart is a person too I tell him he's a person He says I'm just ridick-a-lous My high school sweetheart is a too ridick-a-lous sweetheart Who's a person, too He's a person I say a person has his wants and needs I'm not a greedy person He says I'm just ridick-a-lous My high school sweetheart is a too ridick-a-lous sweetheart Who's a person, too He's a person [HIS WIFE & TEACHER] He's a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person [WIFE & TEACHER] He's a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person [MARVIN] I'm a person [SWEETHEART, WIFE, & TEACHER] He's a person [MARVIN] I'm a person [WIFE & TEACHER] He's a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person [MARVIN] She's a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person [WIFE & TEACHER] He's a person [MARVIN] I'm a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person [WIFE] I'm a person [MARVIN] I'm a person [LADIES] Marvin loves Miss Goldberg [SWEETHEART] And I'm his sweetheart [MARVIN] I love Miss Goldberg She cast me in her play She gave me words to say Made me what I am today [HIS WIFE] I'm a person I'm a person I'm a person [MARVIN] I am Columbus Columbus King of the Ocean [ALL] Columbus [TEACHER] Go ahead, play Columbus Stop begging Stop making me crazy, Marvin Crazy Marvin I love the way Marvin acts, I do Do not makes faces and do not undo the facts Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax [MARVIN & HIS TEACHER] Go ahead, play Columbus Stop begging Stop making me crazy, Marvin Crazy Marvin I love the way Marvin acts, I do Do not makes faces and do not undo the facts Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax [LADIES] He loves Miss Goldberg [MARVIN] She cast me in her play She gave me words to say Made me what I am today [Marvin, his wife, his teacher, and his sweetheart sing simultaneously:] [WIFE] I'm a person I'm a person [MARVIN] I am Columbus Columbus King of the Ocean [TEACHER] Go ahead, play Columbus Stop begging Stop making me crazy, Marvin Crazy Marvin I love the way Marvin acts, I do Do not makes faces and do not undo the facts Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax [SWEETHEART] I'm his sweetheart I'm his sweetheart [ALL] Columbus