Childish Gambino - Because the internet Screenplay - Part 2 lyrics

RAP GENIUS NOTE: This is Part 2 of the script, read Part 1 if you have not already CUT TO: *******[PLAY SONG "DIAL UP" AT THIS POINT]******* [VISUAL] The Boy lies, arms to his side, on his bed, looking at the ceiling Spiders slowly drop from single strands of web from all the posts on the bed. It looks pretty. All of them dropping simultaneously swaying together. They whisper: ......where are you? ................who is this? ...don't slide It's almost a song *******[PLAY SONG "THE WORST GUYS" AT THIS POINT]******* INT. MANSION - NIGHT More people are at the house. People drinking and smoking. Shoes off. It's a Temple. Respect it The back wall of the living room has been pushed into the wall, so there's a seamless transiting from living room to backyard patio People sit on the swings underneath space heaters EMILY is in the middle of the pool table. Swa*k plays pool around her. RUBEN is filming Marcus and Steve throwing things in the fire pit AJ is djing in the middle of the living room Some guy is running through the living room in just a towel. He is dripping water. He almost slips The projector room (theatre) is playing Fight/Vine compilations. Two dudes are in there not watching. Just smoking The Boy walks through the backyard. There's a dude and a girl making out on the bar outside. They're sitting on the bar THE BOY: Don't sit on that They look at him. He stares back. They get down. He walks away. They stare as he leaves. The Boy walks to the edge of the pool and looks at the ocean go into the sky THIS KID IN A HAT (laughing/whisper): Hurry! This kid in a hat and his friend are running out the front door with an iPad and a midi controller. The Boy walks inside. Marcus stops him. He's out of breath and looks wet THE BOY: Some guys just stole some stuff MARCUS: Please tell me you saw that Argentinan...Argentinian? Argentina-girl. I can't say it- THE BOY: Stop inviting random n***as in here. If you don't know their names they can't come MARCUS: I don't hear you right now. I just f**ed in a steam shower and I feel CRAZY. It's like I came in a Prince video. I like, blacked out. Couldn't breath in there, mane. I- (wait) f**! Is she still in there? You think she's okay? (He thinks) THE BOY: You're the Florida of my friends The Boy walks away INT. FATHER'S ROOM - NIGHT The Boy walks up to the door. Before he can open it, Sasha opens it from the inside. She's with another girl. It feels like they just did a drug or were stealing something themselves Sasha sees The Boy. Startled. Then she smirks SASHA: Come in! Quick! [VISUAL] She pulls him in. The other girl flops on the bed OTHER GIRL: UUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH. SOOOOO SOOOOOFFFFTTT SASHA: Hurry, hurry, hurry. Scoot, scoot The Boy lays against the wall. Sasha sits on the bed Silence. Then: SASHA (CONT'D): Show us your dick THE BOY: Wha? SASHA: Do it. Show it OTHER GIRL: Ew Silence THE BOY: Ha Silence THE BOY (CONT'D): Why? SASHA: Cause it's probably gross and I wanna laugh at it OTHER GIRL: I've never seen a black dick. Is it purple? SASHA: Grape dick OTHER GIRL (agreeing): Grape dick Sasha gets up and starts to punch The Boy playfully. The other girl is laughing crazy SASHA: Do it. Don't be weird! OTHER GIRL: Let's be weird a little! The punches slowly stop. Then Sasha starts kissing The Boy. You can't see below their waist, but stuff is going on. Then stuff stops SASHA: What's wrong? This is weird? THE BOY: No SASHA: You don't want to? This is weird? THE BOY: No. I want to SASHA: Then...what's going on, chum? THE BOY: Hold on The Boy plays with his dick. Nothing. It's like gum Silence. Fidgeting. Sasha's got a [ASHAMED EMOJI] look on her face THE BOY (CONT'D): Hold on He walks into the bathroom and closes the door. Locked. Silence. Sasha sits on the floor OTHER GIRL: What's up? *******[PLAY SONG "SHADOWS" AT THIS POINT]******* INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT The Boy sits on the floor. Head in hands Damn, guy The Boy's ex-girlfriend steps out of the linen closet [VISUAL] VANESSA: What are you doing? THE BOY (head in hands): Chillin VANESSA: In the Bathroom? THE BOY: Mmm-hmm VANESSA: Well, I want to go out THE BOY ("no"): Mmm-mmm Vanessa playfully throws things from the counter at him (toothbrush, cup, floss, soap). He throws some of it back. She starts laughing. He pulls her to the ground with him VANESSA: Why are you so moody? THE BOY: I'm not. Let me enjoy this for a second VANESSA: We can do this outside, [EDIT] THE BOY: We could live the rest of our lives here. There's a TV in the mirror. There's fresh water every time we flush. I heard they're building a sandwich place in the shower Vanessa smh and smiles VANESSA: Get up. We're going THE BOY: Come 'on- VANESSA: I mean it! She pulls him up. She opens up the linen closet and pulls The Boy in Coachella is inside the closet There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose today. It's a great time The Boy chases after Vanessa and catches her. He carries her for like three steps, then they walk together, holding hands VANESSA (CONT'D): We have to see everything together. I don't wanna split up this time. We each get to choose one band the other one can't make you see- (then) What's wrong? THE BOY (smh): ... VANESSA (disappointed): Really?...You're really doing this to me? Right now? THE BOY: You don't think this is a waste of our time? VANESSA: No, I don't think me and you together is a waste of time. That's what you think. And I'm tired of trying to convince you otherwise. At least be a man and break up with me instead of telling me I don't like you THE BOY: But you don't! You don't really like me. I just look good when you scroll past me with the rest of your "I'm almost Vashtie" bullsh** [NO MOUTH EMOJI] VANESSA (teary whisper): You're so mean THE BOY: I'm trying to be honest VANESSA: Mean doesn't mean honest! Honest can mean mean. But only if you mean it THE BOY (so many "means"): Wait...the- VANESSA: I'm trying so hard with you. But I'm not gonna carry us. I won't waste your time anymore She starts walking away. Then she looks to the sky and shoots up like a rocket She looks like a shooting star in the sky. Not a sound is heard while this happens. They never see each other again Then the coyotes come out They're glowing blue. They're circling and they're talking about music WOLF 1: What'd you think of 2 Chainz' set? WOLF 2: It was really fun. His live shows have gotten way better. I saw him last spring in Chicago WOLF WITH GLASSES: Have you heard that Roc Marciano album on vinyl? It's so good, man MESSY, BUT COOL WOLF: You guys, this is my fiance, another wolf. He or she works in a small music or graphic design for niche clothing or this app I'm building They rip The Boy to shreds while they talk. Blood everywhere. The Boy doesn't make a sound. Lets it happen INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT The Boy realizes he is pacing in the shower. He's been in there for a minute, cause the water is cold He opens the door. The girls are gone. The small clock on the desk says "5:23 AM". There's also a note written in lipstick on the mirror that says "YOUR fu*kED" (smh at the "your"). Probably Sasha. She's probably right CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The house isn't totalled, just dirty. Empty cups, bottles, cigarette bu*ts, etc. The Boy sees Steve and Swa*k pa**ed out on the couch THE BOY: Let's go guys STEVE (waking up): Where we going? THE BOY: Oakland Swa*k: When's the flight leave? THE BOY: We're driving Swa*k: Wha? (then) How'd we get poor? INT. FAM'S ROOM - NIGHT Fam's sleeping. There's a naked girl sleeping with him. The Boy comes in THE BOY: We're going The Boy leaves. Fam opens his eyes CUT TO: *******[PLAY SONG "TELEGRAPH AVE." AT THIS POINT]******* EXT. MANSION - NIGHT Swa*k, Steve, and Fam are asleep in the car. The Boy sits down in the driver's seat He pulls out his phone and texts someone named NYALA: Im driving up now ...(that moment you know exactly what they're typing and how they look doing it) She writes back: DONT The Boy looks at this. Then starts up the car and turns on the radio and speeds out of the driveway A moment pa**es... Then we see the girl that was in bed with Fam walk out in the Mansion doorway THAT GIRL FAM KNOWS FROM THAT ONE PLACE: Fam? EXT. I-5 - NIGHT/EARLY MORNING Everyone's asleep in the car except The Boy who's driving (AJ is there too. They picked him up.). Lloyd's "Oakland" is playing on the radio. The Boy turns it up so he feels like he's in a video. He pushes his seat back so he can lean Swa*k: Ow, ow! He slammed Swa*ks knees. Sorry The Boy speeds through the empty highway. It's really pretty. I'm not sure what those factories are in the middle of nowhere with all the lights on them. They're probably horrible for the earth, but they look really magical at night. He pa**es one of those factories There's a lot of rolling hills. Lotta farms. There's a slaughterhouse. Smells and looks grey and awful. All the cows look really sad. Maybe I'm just making them sad. Maybe they're fine Looking at the rows of crops criss-cross on farms as they pa** There's a billboard. It says: ROSCOE'S WETSUIT The Boy stares at it. Just a white billboard with "roscoe's wetsuit" on it EXT. MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN-N-OUT - DAY The guys are sitting on their car, eating burgers at the far end of the parking lot As The Boy bites into his double-double he thinks about the slaughterhouse. Then he looks at his burger. He laughs Two women walk out. They look like they're in their late 30s. Swa*k spots em. One of the women is wearing a Northwestern hoodie Swa*k (re: hoodie): Long way from Chicago WOMAN 1: Alumni Swa*k: There's no way. You can't be over twenty-three The women just smirk and close their doors. They drive off Swa*k (CONT'D): See that? Johnny Appleseed of confidence, man. Just leaving little seeds with everyone A car crazily pulls up next to the In-N-Out. Two dudes jump out with masks and guns FAM: Daaammmmnnn They run inside. We see people running in their cars, and driving off. All of our guys stay seated on their car. Just eating A minute goes by. No gun shots. Just yelling The two dudes run out. Just as they do, you can hear the police coming ROBBERY DUDE 1: MOVE, RYAN! AJ: This n***a's using his real name. Treated STEVE: Could be a code name AJ: That's definitely his real name. No one's robbery name is "Ryan". It's something like..."Snake-Man" They all make a face AJ (CONT'D): f** ya'll. I wouldn't rob a place with ya'll p**y a** anyway The Police roll up. Ryan tries to get away, but they pin him. The other dude shoots at the cop FAM: We should leave. They're shooting at the cops. Which means the other cops coming give a f** 'bout bystanders now MARCUS (in anchorman voice): Two men were arrested in an attempted robbery at an In-N-Out burger today. (mumbling) Also some n******gs ended up dead, we don't know. This is news, people! STEVE: After being frisked, the dead suspects somehow got guns and shot themselves in the head even though they were handcuffed and in the back of a tiny-a** squad car THE BOY: Police chief states: "no investigation needed" STEVE: "White people still safe!" They laugh. As they start to drive off Suddenly two cop cars screech in front of them COP 1: HANDS IN THE AIR! STEVE: f** All of the guys put their hands up CUT TO: EXT. OAKLAND STREET - DAY Everyone looks a little bummed. Silence. More silence THE BOY: We're here They pull over to a row of brownstones MARCUS: Great. Why are we where is this? The Boy gets out of the car and walks up to the door. As he's about to knock, the door opens. Nyla is standing there. Her face is a mix of anger and strange Sympathy. Like she refused to cry like...an hour ago? THE BOY: Hey- NYLA: There's a point you reach when you're no longer able to feel like you did. Not about a person, not with a certain place, you just can't feel like you did because that muscle or whatever is just...dead. Or gone THE BOY: Hi, Nyla NYLA: When you're alone, you might be able to remember it. You might even hear a song that makes you question it. But you don't have it. It doesn't exist anymore. It's dead. Do you understand? THE BOY: Yes. Absolutely. But Nyla- NYLA: I AM AT THAT POINT, [EDIT] Tears. She's not crying. She's just that mad A dude pokes his head out from the hallway in the brownstone. The Boy and him make eye contact THE BOY: This isn't what you think it is. I didn't come here to...look, I saw this dude die and- NYLA: And you're scared. So you came here THE BOY: I'm not scared. I just wanna be with someone Who knows me for a little NYLA: I don't know you. We're not together. I have company. Go home THE BOY: Okay, you're being mean now NYLA: "Mean?" Who cares? You're an adult. Also, you embarra**ed me THE BOY (to the dude in the hallway): We were planning on having a kid together. She offered and we had a whole plan. Like adults or something. Then I backed out. So... (then) You're second at best is what I'm saying The guy goes -__- [SIDE EYE EMOJI] NYLA: What is wrong with you? THE BOY: I don't know NYLA: Me neither This is really sad for both of em. They really wanna know. Nyla closes the door NYLA (CONT'D through the door): Please grow up The Boy stands there...then Swa*k walks up to him on the stoop of the brownstone Swa*k: Can I use her bathroom? That double-double's makin moves The Boy walks away and gets in the car. Swa*k stands there for a moment. Then tries to cut off a fart with his hand as he walks to the car CUT TO: *******[PLAY SONG "SWEATPANTS" AT THIS POINT]******* INT. OAKLAND CLUB - NIGHT The guys sit at a table in the corner. The Boy is sitting in the corner. Fam is texting. Swa*k and Steve are talking to two girls. A promoter walks over PROMOTER: Ey. You gonna just sit here THE BOY: Yeah PROMOTER: Well, you gotta order something THE BOY: A bottle? PROMOTER: Yeah. A bottle They stare THE BOY: I'll take 12 bottles Promoter gives him a [NO MOUTH EMOJI]. The Boy just stares at him...he's serious. The promoter walks off CUT TO: Twelve girls with bottles and sparklers emerge around the club from the back. It's a parade. They curve around the club making a big to do. People are staring, like "is Diddy here? OMG Diddy's here!" The parade gets to the top of the stairs where the booth is. But when they turn the corner, the guys are gone already. There's a stack of cash sitting in the middle of the table The promoter stands there INT. DINER - LATE NIGHT [VISUAL] The guys are eating Swa*k: But animals eat animals, man. Animals! STEVE: The argument is that we've been given the freewill and understanding of life. So we shouldn't because the option is there for us Swa*k: Man, in Nigeria they made me AND my little brother slaughter a goat. We raised that goat, man. I loved that f**ing goat. And one day we came home from school and they just handed us the knife. I've seen the blood man. I've heard the screams. I still ate the sh** though ...I was here before THE BOY: We were here before FAM: What? THE BOY: We've done this before FAM: Nah man. This is our first time together in Oakland THE BOY: This is every night. This is all the nights, man FAM (weirded out): Nahhhh. We switch it up, man The Boy stops listening. Across the way there's a group of kids eating in a booth They're laughing and talking behind the back of a friend they don't seem to like very much. One of the girls is going in. But behind her, there's a guy in a colorful faux 90's hat. He's writing something on the wall in sharpie He's writing "roscoe's wetsuit" The Boy gets up and walks over THE BOY: Excuse me. What does that mean? HAT KID: What? THE BOY: Roscoe's wetsuit HAT KID: Oh. I don't know THE BOY: Yes you do HAT KID: Wha? THE BOY: You know what it means. Tell me HAT KID: I don't know. I saw it online THE BOY: So you just write sh** you see? HAT KID: f**'s your problem? Fam walks up. Grabs The Boy FAM: Ey. Let's just eat The Boy and Fam sit HAT KID: It means I sat on your mom's face The Boy SLAMS his fist on the table. It's loud. Everyone in the diner looks at him. The Boy doesn't look up THE BOY (quiet): Tell me what it is or I'll cut you open and take the answer Silence CUT TO: EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT The guys roll up to the front of the hotel Swa*k: That kid was scared as f**! He was like [OPEN MOUTH EMOJI] FAM (to The Boy): You good? Boy doesn't say anything INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT The guys walk in the lobby. There's an Indian wedding happening. They're probably not called Indian weddings. It's probably just a wedding, but all the people participating happen to be Indian. There's a bunch of guys talking and quietly laughing in the hall. The door to the banquet room is open as they pa**. The Boy stops. The bride and groom are slow dancing. The Bride is quite pretty. Green eyes and dark skin. She's got the aura of a business woman. Probably met him at Stanford and was like "this is reliable". The groom looks like a caricature of a good ol' fashion white dude STEVE: Good for him Swa*k: Nah. He don't get any interracial points. He's just doing what white guys been doing since forever. Exactly what he wants AJ: Really? Like that? Swa*k: Man, I used to get so pissed when girls would watch Boy Meets World and be like "Ryder Strong's so dope for having a black girlfriend". Man, f** that n***a AJ: Come on, man. My dad's white and his parents didn't like my mom. They just started talking again Swa*k (over the top): Oh you're poor white dad! (then) n***a, shut up. Take that team light skin sh** outside THE BOY: I've never seen one of these FAM: A first dance? THE BOY: A wedding FAM: Yeah. (then) Marriage is so wack. I mean, I get it. But come on, yo. Forever? ("Ms. Jackson") Forever, ever? Forever, ever? THE BOY: You think either of them don't wanna do it? FAM: Mane, I bet both of em are like that THE BOY: They look happy as f** though FAM: Cause they reached their goal. In a year they'll Be like "oh f**...goals are dumb." MARCUS: Goals are dumb? FAM: Making your life a goal is dumb. I think. This sh** is supposed to be just fun. (then) I took an edible at the diner. It's kickin in. Hard. I'mma go upstairs THE BOY: Okay They both stand there for a moment FAM: I'm gonna need some help AJ takes Fam by the arm FAM (CONT'D): There we go They head to the elevators MARCUS: I'mma look for some bridesmaids He walks off STEVE (yelling to Marcus): Gee-van-chi! MARCUS (calling back): n***a, god bless you STEVE (to The Boy): What you doin? The Boy stares at the couple THE BOY: I'mma stay down here Swa*k: You good? THE BOY: I'm great They Kanye shrug, then walk off to the bar. The Boy walks into the banquet INT. BANQUET HALL - NIGHT The lights are low. Most of the people have gotten up to pee or something. The Boy just stares at the couple. Then he decides to start recording. A man comes up to him OLDER INDIAN DUDE:Who are you here with? THE BOY (not looking up from his phone): The groom. We went to college together OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Oh. (then) Nice isn't it? THE BOY (sincere): Beautiful OLDER INDIAN DUDE: When the buddies start getting Married, that means you're next THE BOY: I don't think so OLDER INDIAN DUDE: That's what everyone says. That's what I said thirty years ago THE BOY: I don't believe in marriage. (then) Maybe that's not true. But I am against it OLDER INDIAN DUDE: What do you believe in? THE BOY: Cool baby mamas OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Ahhhhh. But how many women you know are interested in your concept? THE BOY: More than you'd think. I find if you have a job and are actually interested in raising a child, women, who are a little older, tend to be responsive. I just don't think they like being labeled that. (then) Do you get tired of it? OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Of marriage? THE BOY: Of marriage. Of her. Of yourself He thinks OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Yes. Sometimes THE BOY: Then why? OLDER INDIAN DUDE: I had to man-up. It was time. I Don't regret it THE BOY: Well I don't have to man-up. I did what I'm supposed to do. I found the things I'm good at. I didn't get anyone pregnant on the way there. And I've had mature relationships that prepared me for what marriage is OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Mature relationships? THE BOY: Yeah. I keep in touch with all my exes. We're all friends OLDER INDIAN DUDE: You still call them THE BOY: I send em a happy birthday text or DM 'em OLDER INDIAN DUDE: That's not a friend. I do that with my boss. And I hate my boss. (to himself) f**in Korean kid thinks he know everything Silence OLDER INDIAN DUDE (CONT'D): What do you do? THE BOY: I troll celebrities, politicians, or anyone with large enough online cache until I get a response. I post those responses and/or convos on my blog. And I charge gossip blogs and advertisers to advertise on my site and sometimes me and my friend put out novelty books of f**ed up things we find online while digging up dirt on said celebrities and/ or politicians and sell it to niche book stores or larger stores that fit our aesthetic The man just stares, not understanding THE BOY (CONT'D): How old are you? OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Fifty-three THE BOY: I'm like Bill O'Reilly OLDER INDIAN DUDE: Oh The older man leaves. A shlubby man in a suit comes to the podium in front. People clap for the end of the dance MAN IN SUIT: I've known Safia and Greg since college and I honestly knew this day would happen since we were getting high in my dorm room junior year at GW. (to mom) Sorry Mrs. Healey, Greg smokes weed. You gotta deal! Everyone laughs MAN IN SUIT (CONT'D): But honestly, may you two spend the rest of your lives healthy and happy "Awwww" MAN IN SUIT (CONT'D): And now, the traditional "march to forever" to bless the bride and groom with happiness for all their days to come Everyone claps *******[PLAY SONG "3005" AT THIS POINT]******* [VISUAL] Little creatures slowly start to march out from the kitchen. Some have banners that say "HAPPY MARRIAGE!". Some have sparklers. They all bounce on beat. It's cute for a very short moment. Then it feels wrong All the creatures have two legs, two arms, like humans. But they are definitely not humans. One of the giveaways being that they are naked, but don't seem to have genitals All the creatures are breathing heavy out their mouths (their noses being two tiny slits probably don't allow for heavy air traffic) They're about three feet high. Their eyes are larger than they should be and are spread farther on their faces. They don't have hair anywhere on their bodies. They all have forced smiles on their faces. You can see their teeth are just a little too sharp when they smile. Insinuating carnivorous behavior. If they wanted to, at any point they could jump on you and rip out your throat in .8 seconds. But they're not right now. They're marching One of the creatures has tears in its eyes. Still smiling tho. Pushing the smile Everyone is smiling as they march past, but they're all very cautious. Clearly worried that one may attack. The Boy watches as the creatures reach the front of the party and form a circle. They do this weird clapping, almost step team routine, then stop. The music stops CREATURE 1: We did it! CREATURE 2: Yay! Everyone claps. The bride and groom force a smile. The creatures slowly make their way back to the kitchen. All that's heard is their struggled breathing and clammy skin hitting the wooden dance floor. One stares at The Boy as he (or she) leaves ...that was unacceptable. [LEMONGRAB: UNNACCEPTABLE!] RAP GENIUS NOTE: This is the end of Part 2, continue on at Part 3