Charles Heron Wall - The Impostures of Scapin (Act 2 Scene 5) lyrics

OCTAVE, LÉANDRE, SCAPIN. OCT My dear Scapin, what do I not owe to you? What a wonderful man you are, and how kind of Heaven to send you to my help! LEA Ah, ah! here you are, you rascal! SCA Sir, your servant; you do me too much honour. LEA (drawing his sword). You are setting me at defiance, I believe...Ah! I will teach you how.... SCA (falling on his knees). Sir! OCT (stepping between them). Ah! Léandre. LEA No, Octave, do not keep me back. SCA (to LÉANDRE). Eh! Sir. OCT (keeping back LÉANDRE). For mercy's sake! LEA (trying to strike). Leave me to wreak my anger upon him. OCT In the name of our friendship, Léandre, do not strike him. SCA What have I done to you, Sir? LEA What you have done, you scoundrel! OCT (still keeping back LÉANDRE). Gently, gently. LEA No, Octave, I will have him confess here on the spot the perfidy of which he is guilty. Yes, scoundrel, I know the trick you have played me; I have just been told of it. You did not think the secret would be revealed to me, did you? But I will have you confess it with your own lips, or I will run you through and through with my sword. SCA Ah! Sir, could you really be so cruel as that? LEA Speak, I say. SCA I have done something against you, Sir? LEA Yes, scoundrel! and your conscience must tell you only too well what it is. SCA I a**ure you that I do not know what you mean. LEA (going towards SCAPIN to strike him). You do not know? OCT (keeping back LÉANDRE). Léandre! SCA Well, Sir, since you will have it, I confess that I drank with some of my friends that small cask of Spanish wine you received as a present some days ago, and that it was I who made that opening in the cask, and spilled some water on the ground round it, to make you believe that all the wine had leaked out. LEA What! scoundrel, it was you who drank my Spanish wine, and who suffered me to scold the servant so much, because I thought it was she who had played me that trick? SCA Yes, Sir; I am very sorry, Sir. LEA I am glad to know this. But this is not what I am about now. SCA It is not that, Sir? LEA No; it is something else, for which I care much more, and I will have you tell it me. SCA I do not remember, Sir, that I ever did anything else. LEA (trying to strike SCAPIN). Will you speak? SCA Ah! OCT (keeping back LÉANDRE). Gently. SCA Yes, Sir; it is true that three weeks ago, when you sent me in the evening to take a small watch to the gypsy {Footnote: Égyptienne. Compare act v. scene ii. Bohémienne is a more usual name.} girl you love, and I came back, my clothes spattered with mud and my face covered with blood, I told you that I had been attacked by robbers who had beaten me soundly and had stolen the watch from me. It is true that I told a lie. It was I who kept the watch, Sir. LEA It was you who stole the watch? SCA Yes, Sir, in order to know the time. LEA Ah! you are telling me fine things; I have indeed a very faithful servant! But it is not this that I want to know of you. SCA It is not this? LEA No, infamous wretch! it is something else that I want you to confess. SCA (aside). Mercy on me! LEA Speak at once; I will not be put off. SCA Sir, I have done nothing else. LEA (trying to strike SCAPIN). Nothing else? OCT (stepping between them). Ah! I beg.... SCA Well, Sir, you remember that ghost that six months ago cudgelled you soundly, and almost made you break your neck down a cellar, where you fell whilst running away? LEA Well? SCA It was I, Sir, who was playing the ghost. LEA It was you, wretch! who were playing the ghost? SCA Only to frighten you a little, and to cure you of the habit of making us go out every night as you did. LEA I will remember in proper time and place all I have just heard. But I'll have you speak about the present matter, and tell me what it is you said to my father. SCA What I said to your father? LEA Yes, scoundrel! to my father. SCA Why, I have not seen him since his return! LEA You have not seen him? SCA No, Sir. LEA Is that the truth? SCA The perfect truth; and he shall tell you so himself. LEA And yet it was he himself who told me. SCA With your leave, Sir, he did not tell you the truth.