Cera Torné - Dawn of Misery lyrics

[Verse 1] After you listened to the 0 Days mixtape You thought "T's great, since first grade when he first displayed" Well I think that was just the beginning And that project wasn't really that much to begin with I'll tell you anything, let's go back Let's travel to the land where T was happy and didn't hear rap It was 9 years ago, before my first suicidal thought J told me "Listen to eminem he sounds great bro" So I did it, it was rock, metal, and two Em' songs And I said "Hell T, this library is too wrong You know you like rap, so why you only got two Eminem songs and the rest from f**ing rockstars" So that's what happened with my music And then there i was, standing at the balcony trynna not to lose it Trying to control my first suicidal thought Should I throw myself or eat a cookie and forget, I dont know I ate the cookie, and that was it And after that i wasn't supposed to expose it but f** it I only was nine, and I thought of suicide As a way to lay my brown a** aside from my troubled mind Fast forward to sixth grade, twelve age My only friend in school is mad so i meet Wax's rage Trying to choke myself with a f**ing fanny pack Cuz I'm so alone, my sister left and she's not comin back And my man is mad, my voice is wack Somebody squared up and I ran, f** it, I'm not even black Psht, it didn't even work I was close to dying but then I f**ing f**ed it up I'm not strong enough, I still dont have the balls To meet my fate, heaven's great but hell's the place I'm going to [Verse 2] Seventh grade, rage is building in me again Living in pain, having everything but not feelin great Feelin like a waste, but I play games and forget it Think about d**h and instantly regret it Fast forward again, let's go to nineth grade Meet Six Gays and everything's great til the last bit Tried to win but im lost Lose the nineth grade and that motherf**in rage doesnt stop growin up And im growing up with it Trynna write lyrics but only write gimmicks, losing years minute by minute The second nineth grade I was sunk in depression I mean more than usual, study? I didn't do none All the year I was only discovering music And at the end I was wondering how im supposed to not lose it And at the end I'm trapped in my bedroom Had to do homework or lose again and I said no I had no time to do that sh** so I went downstairs And grab the first poisonous object to k** myself And there it was a f**ing insecticide Ironically I'm a roach and I drunk that motherf**ing can But I got scared and told my parents about it They took me to the hospital and they both are soundless [Verse 3] Another fast forward to this year My brother died and I go insane and did the same sh** again And the f**ing same sh** happened again So I said f** this method, I'm trying another way of sin And then I hang myself, but got scared one more time Untied before I died, cuz Wax is lying I dont need this sh**, but Wax tries to control me I may be the best mc but the devil haunts me All I can do is remember the good times of wayback And pray to the lord to get my smile back