Cards Against Humanity - Cards Against Humanity: Third Expansion lyrics

Black cards A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with ________. After months of practice with ________, I think I'm finally ready for ________. And what did you bring for show and tell? As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without ________ in his dressing room. As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for ________. Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate ________ in the workplace. During high school, I never really fit in until I found ________ club. Finally! A service that delivers ________ right to your door. Having problems with ________? Try ________! Hey, baby, come back to my place and I'll show you ________. I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for ________. In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure ________ for all eternity. Listen, son. If you want to get involved with ________, I won't stop you. Just steer clear of ________. Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're ________. Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me ________. My gym teacher got fired for adding ________ to the obstacle course. My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of ________ and ________. The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in ________. To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of ________. Turns out that ________-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted. What left this stain on my couch? When you get right down to it, ________ is just ________. With enough time and pressure, ________ will turn into ________. ________. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. ________: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for ________! White cards A PowerPoint presentation. A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie. A boo-boo. A botched circumcision. A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your an*s. A cop who is also a dog. A greased-up Matthew McConaughey. A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint. A pile of squirming bodies. A spontaneous conga line. A surprising amount of hair. A vagina that leads to another dimension. Actually getting shot, for real. All my friends dying. An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III. An a** disaster. An unstoppable wave of fire ants. Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone. Blood farts. Blowing some dudes in an alley. Buying the right pants to be cool. Chugging a lava lamp. co*k. Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath. Demonic possession. Disco fever. Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy. Dying alone and in pain. Eating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers. Filling every orifice with bu*terscotch pudding. Fisting. Flying robots that k** people. Gay aliens. Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick. Girls that always be textin'. Going around punching people. Having s** on top of a pizza. Having shotguns for legs. Indescribable loneliness. Jumping out at people. Letting everyone down. Mufasa's d**h scene. My manservant, Claude. Not contributing to society in any meaningful way. Not having s**. Nothing. Putting an entire peanut bu*ter and jelly sandwich into the VCR. Reverse cowgirl. Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king. Running naked through a mall, pissing and sh**ting everywhere. Samuel L. Jackson. Screaming like a maniac. Self-flagellation. Shutting the f** up. Slapping a racist old lady. Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time. Some douche with an acoustic guitar. Some kind of bird-man. Spending lots of money. That a**. The Harlem Globetrotters. The Land of Chocolate. The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili's©. The entire Internet. The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth. The primal, ball-slapping s** your parents are having right now. The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life. The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies p**n. The way white people is. Three months in the hole. Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. Velcro™. Vietnam flashbacks. Vomiting mid-bl**job. Warm, velvety muppet s**.