It was a quiet cafe in Orleans, France Where we held our midnight rendezvous Conspiring pour la resistance It seemed like something Woody Allen would do Talking politics, ethics, animal rights One fateful night long ago The mood like the food we kept it light Till someone ordered escargot How sad for the snails, I cried woefully Shedding tears on my brioche To have given up their lives needlessly For the bourgeoisie, how gauche To my friends, I cried You and your dialectic Save the dolphins Save the ozone Save the whale... There is a factory I know where they are farming escargot We must save our friend the snail We planned the mission with the utmost precision Spied the factory from across the boulevard The alarm was taken care of by Pierre the electrician While I seduced- I mean, subdued- the guard Need I tell you, our timing was crucial Not to be caught at the scene of the crime