Camboi Smif - Apologies lyrics

[VERSE 1: CAMBOI] Hasta lavista Cutting early outta cla** The teacher caught me And now she holding me back I'm the last one on the bus And no one saved me a seat Except this pretty blonde girl said "You can sit next to me" I sat down, we had a chat Made her smile, made her laugh Flirting, twirling her hair For an hour and a half Got the digits, and a hug Stepped my a** up off the bus Felt euphoric like a drug Aw f**, I'm in love I'm so in love I can't control it I'm so in love And I don't want it But this is love It isn't a crush And this love Cuts, I gush Blood and guts I open up She f**s me up This f**ing s**s I'm b**hing and wishing I didn't speak up Any b**hes I'm kissing Superfluous Months go by And I realize The positive high Just drops and dies I drop to cry Drops from my eyes Materialize And I decide That behind The pain and lies You're worth the time And that is why [HOOK: ALSACIA] Love Is like a bad habit, baby Love Makes me feel like such a f*ggot Moving on Isn't something I can do I've tried and tried And every time I f** up So I apologize [VERSE 2: CAMBOI] Katie Katie Katie Going off in my head All day, all night I just want to be dead Put an end to all my thoughts Poisoned with her name Can't do a damn thing Without thinking about her face Tried to vent in 9th grade When I wrote an essay About her and my depression How life will never change People always say To put my thoughts of her away But the only way's to put A f**ing bullet through my brain And pray it hits the strain Reserved to memories and names So if afterlife is real Then maybe I'll be safe But hoping and praying is Simply mentally saying What you want from your life Which is more than likely staying The same, the pain Rise again and a-gain Already dead inside All my emotions are fake All the smiles and the laughs Are forced are fabricated Hopelessly hoping that I wasn't ever created [HOOK: ALSACIA] Love Is like a bad habit, baby Love Makes me feel like such a f*ggot Moving on Isn't something I can do I've tried and tried And every time I f** up So I apologize [VERSE 3: CAMBOI] For four years She blatantly ignored me f**in with my head Like a motherf**ing orgy Even had a couple cla**es Where I sat right next to her Blew me off in person And every time I texted her She'd say say who's this? With utter nonchalance I'd tell her who it is No response The idea had been drilled Deep in my subconscious That she and I interacting was Completely preposterous But then the day came She could no longer retain She gave me another chance Consolidated we became We texted all the time Not a moment was mundane This sh** was unrealistic Nobody could appertain Even more when I came Over to sleep over I told her I love her moreover the closer We got to each other Didn't feel the same But she seemed to be okay On the other hand was I Unknowingly going insane [HOOK: ALSACIA] Love Is like a bad habit, baby Love Makes me feel like such a f*ggot Moving on Isn't something I can do I've tried and tried And every time I f** up So I apologize [VERSE 4: CAMBOI] I remember waking up In the middle of the night Head rested on my shoulder She was sleeping by my side That was the first time I Could have probably cried From elation my cynicism Had finally been defied This was more than just love And infatuation on the line My entire perspective of Life was on thin ice I fell through from the Heat of the moment and I Was frozen in the loop Unfortunate not to die My life was turning somber I went to see the doctor Got the antidepressants and Zoloft turned me to a monster Now I squander I live without purpose Cause I can't figure out what the f** I did to deserve this I'm feeling worthless cuz Entropy makes me up chuck You think it gets better? Shut the f** up You're a f**ing grown up And there is no such sh** But Katie Travis, I Love you so much, b**h [BRIDGE: ALSACIA] I'm so sorry, Katie If you're listening to this (Uhh) Can't believe I let him Talk me into this sh** (Wait, what?) Didn't know Cameron was Such a little b**h (That's not the lyrics) Maybe he should go And jump off a bridge (Jesus) I'm serious, there's no hope for you (Dang) You wanna die, and I hope you do (That's f**ed up) I'm serious, there's no hope for you (Okay) You wanna die, and I hope you do (You don't have to say it twice) Cameron, please, don't you even "tlkame" (Alright, I'm k**ing myself) I tried to hide But I confide I hope you die But I apologize