Butterfingers - Everytime lyrics

Everytime I clean my room, I make another mess Everytime I miss the bus, I'm late for a test Everytime I'm re-incarnated, it's in the lowest form I leave my window open every time there is a storm Everytime I have a hangover, I have to go to work Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand Everytime I talk to aliens, they don't understand Everytime I skate, I get another bruise Everytime I get drunk, I vomit on my shoes Everytime I scratch, the needle jumps Everytime I drink milk, it comes out in lumps Everytime I freestyle, I just talk sh** Everytime I catch the bus, there is nowhere to sit Everytime I catch a train, Im ha**led for a ticket Everytime I bat in cricket, 1st ball takes a wicket Everytime I'm drunk at a party in a toga, I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga Everytime I eat, I get a pain in my chest Everytime I thinks it's heartburn, it's cardiac arrest Everytime I make a call, call waiting interrupts Everytime I dump a load at someone's house, it won't flush Everytime it won't flush, it stains the ceramic If you ever see me happy it because I'm manic Doomed to fail *It's not easy being me Doomed to fail *It's not easy being me Everytime I give advice, it comes out wrong Everytime I get raided, my prints are on the bong Everytime I score, I get sh**ty leaf I was living with the navajo until they heard me dis the cheif. Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint, Id end up with the roach Everytime I skip sport, I get drilled by the coach But every time I play footy, I get tackled in the dirt I crack another rib and it really f**in hurts Everytime I brush my teeth, I find another cavity Everytime I try to fly, I discover gravity Everytime I have a craving, I run out of food Everytime we spin the bottle, I'm the 1 who ends up nude Everytime I give a girl an orgasm, she fakes Everytime I jam it in, the condom breaks Everytime I gamble, I lose all my chips Everytime I eat all bran, I get the sh**s But everytime I sh**, it takes about an hour And there's never any paper so I have to have a shower But everytime I shower the towel is already wet And it's not wet with water but wet with cum and sweat Everytime I pluck my pubic hairs to make myself attractive My dick gets sore and I f** like a spastic Everytime I write a song, radio stations ban it Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Worship Satan, Everytime I make a joke, people take me serious Everytime I go down on a girl, she's on her period Everytime I drive a car, a cop will pull me over But I'll say I'm someone else and that I'm sober Every blind date turns out to be blind My looks are all I have and that is why I mind Everytime I have a dream, I'm at the school dance Everyone is looking at me cause I don't have any pants Everytime we play piggy in the middle, I'm the pig Everytime we play tiggy, I'm the 1 who's it Everytime I lick toad, I get warts on my tongue Everytime I see a k**er bee, It's when im getting stung Everytime I play scrabble, I make the word "AT" Every wet fart, leaves a stain where I sat Everytime I f** your mum, she wants it in the bum And everytime I'm done, it's not because I've come Everytime I crack onto a chick i pull my sack out Everytime I try to s** my dick, I put my back out Everytime I catch a wave, I hit a coral reef And everytime I order vegetarian, I get beef