Busdriver - Raffle Ticket Blues lyrics

[Hook: Radioinactive] X 2 Happy b-day Here's a candle A ginger beer and a new pair of sandals I like to travel and I like my eggs scrambled Smoking hash with a man with broken legs in Istanbul I'd like to start by selling raffle tickets If you don't win It's cause of natural physics If you're not a winner And you don't have a chin Grow a goatee and throw a javelin Learn the ancient language of the Hopi and build yourself a teepee Here's a million squeegees I'll start myself a company All these peasants hugging me cause they know I'm from the agency They'll invite me in for cake and tea and crackers and some bacon cheese I like these people not cause they like me I'm a broken radio with cable tv Like asking couples how long they've been together Or shooting basketballs in really windy weather You tickle vegan women with a chicken feather And plus that whip is leather If you miss each other Kiss and pinky swear and wear hip-huggers Embarra**ed lovers hiding their soiled covers from their mothers and hundreds of others who've been punished and suffered and can't remember why we bought this blender It's for your aunt's birthday on the first day of Octember This could be the end of a relationship You've been nominated to sign and date this Cuban affidavit You could have been a**a**inated judging by the looks on the faces of the little wooden friends of the governor from Halifax Hiding in a Cadillac wearing butchers' aprons when your keeping the books of Satan When your cooking a nation in a microwave trick that hookers are chasing You have my honest Abraham in the promised land lieutenant A minivan will be waiting for you with a Cajun driver in it Ferdinand never hated on you But even if he did There's a reason that you lived this long or even longer When your breathing's been conquered and you die in a duel to the d**h with a tool in your chest by the hand of a heathen from Yonkers Now you're lying under flying saucers Frying live lobsters for a dying doctor who's dying wish is buy my tractor and eat a flying fish… is that guy an actor? and live happily ever after hours During office hours he likes to be drinking coffee and observing topless showers Plaster cowards using my super powers and a crossbow to shoot plastic flowers into greener pastures Who's fiending to capture a cokehead Who's cleaning up faster than a moped In morse code Happy b-day Here's a candle A ginger beer and a new pair of sandals I like to travel and I like my eggs scrambled Smoking hash with a man with broken legs in Istanbul