Hey boys, I've come a long way Along in the sun and the rain What am I doing here, no-star hotel Wasting my wealth telling myself to go to hell Arm in a cast, heart like a corncob Do not disturb sign hangin' on the door knob Brain unplugged, my whole life in my luggage My cruelty is dependable and my ugliness is rugged Smoke still slow dances out of my barrel In the distance I can hear a kid singing a Christmas carol And this is terrible, gorgeous and sinister The pillow still smells like the secrets of my visitor Nobody needs to know about this kind of thing Blood on my back from the attack of her diamond ring Me of all people, my mind's in a tail-spin I'm just a door-to-door ensyclopedia salesman Part of me feels like dirt, the rest doesn't She said I'm a way better lover than her husband I've had a whole lot of fights Along in the sun and the rain Where am I going, backwards to nowhere In another man's shoes instead of my own pair I promised discretion and to be at her beck and call I look like a dandelion and feel like a wreckin' ball I ran out of wishes and then she came to offer hers Lookin' at myself in the mirror, I'm at a loss for words I'm good at my job, goin' out of my mind kinda Holding my face in my hands like fine China I've seen a whole lot of towns Along in the sun and the rain We met up again, went undercover literally I told her about Cuba, I told her about Italy Physics and photography, a little Russian history Everything about her to me was such a mystery I gave her the once over, she gave me the blood blister She had no idea that I was falling in love with her Call me mister, crucial inspiration All she wanted was my lust and useful information What am I putting myself through this crap for Feels like I'm standing on top of a trap door Lost at sea, tangled up in golden hair Scavenger-hunter, my life is a folding chair My daily routine is down to a system I give regular people truth and wisdom That's what I do, it's my job, the prophet, profit I can see the future and make money off it I've kissed a whole lot of lips Along in the sun and the rain