Brendan Butler - The Open Rap lyrics

This is an open rap to you The one I've stuck with like glue Since day 0 They say wealth is in the mind, not the pockets Especially with what I've seen through my eye sockets I don't need anymore zeros, I have all those digits I have EVERYTHING I could dream for, I seized it Though, sometimes I can't get a single thing off my mind I lied. I don't got everything; can't take my life and rewind.. Yeah, I got the money. Yeah, I got all the hunnies, n***as be talking behind my back bout it like something is silly Yeah, I got the figure. Look in the mirror, them n***as wishing they were stronger Emotionally scarred, Cause I invested my time in you And I still don't know what happened but I keep telling myself I will make it through Everyone 'round me says I made the right choice; But I just want to listen to my heart, it sounds like the right voice Man... I don't want to fight. I don't even know if we will ever be tight Life got in the way and our way of thinking wasn't right Society is fu*kED up, and it's been every man for himself I don't know what you think of me I don't know what you've seen Just like you don't know where I've been Who I've talked with, or what's my scene But I do have an opinion, and I do think you've treated our friendship like I was just a minion But, I have to rethink on that Like, there were instances that wasn't a fact Our friendship was what put us on the map I do want to know What you've been up to I do want to know What you've been through I do want to know If you've moved past the blow I do want to know That you're living a safe life I do want to know If tomorrow has the hope you deserve I do want to know, you're still kicking it in the fast lane quick to react when n***as swerve But I probably will never know I probably will never get to see you again And I can't write everything that's been on my brain I've been trying to refrain from this rap Cause this journey been nothing but crap God damn.. I've been running around like the sap That I am Why did you lie to me so often, like about sh** that really mattered. Like how you felt We could have figured sh** out and simply dealt Could have made it through, but you treated my opinion like a grain of salt Was it my fault? Too opinionated? Infatuated on my own ego I never thought I was a saint But I knew I was always above evil Now I don't know where I am Walking down streets nothing but empty People talking but I only hear pity Rethinking plans lately Rethinking life, sadly Isn't that kinda ironic? How I always thought I was on the right track I still do, but I don't think I'll ever be in the right lane I'll never be the same In fact, I once had a best friend Wish that never came to its end We knew everything about each other, he was my f**ing brother Time moved on, and our minds became harder Oh; how we didn't predict time would be the k**er Oh, didn't predict our blood would grow thinner And thinner And thinner And thinner Impatient to the stress life brings, and the corner it shoves you into Better collect our things, cause this journey we have never been through We would never be the same, that's true enough Now we both are left missing a bigger half I don't even know if you are hearing this sh** coming out of my mouth.. I haven't been in my right mind the last few months I know you haven't, too, that's true enough Did you actually do that sh** to those girls? Did you do it all for thrills? I will never know, and as much as that's big.. I'll be honest, that's not why it all stung It's because you were spewing lies from your tongue 'Bout how you've been treating your girls; but how you treated them, in our friendship, wasn't the wrong My opinion is past that What past that line was how you kept breaking my trust Over and over. No matter what the cost But I kept forgiving, and you don't know how much that tore me apart It tore us apart As time went on your line drew thinner, but in the end I was eating your lies up for dinner Now, if you told me how you felt Now, if you told me you were in so much pain you wanted to just shout Instead of playing it off like how These girls were just playing games Writing down names, making up things; Instead it went down harsh. We don't talk I thought you needed a push, so I went for a walk I needed time to step away and breathe from all the info I was getting It definitely was more than I could handle in one sitting Then I found out you had an insecurity towards thinking I f**ed one of your exes And I did f** up as a friend sometimes, I confess But that's something I'd never do, it'd destroy me.. make me a mess So when you asked, I told you the truth that I didn't.. Then I found out you didn't trust me, man that didn't feel pleasant Especially when you were the one who did that type of sh** to me I had no interest and I can't believe you didn't see Why would I go round n pull the same sh** you did 3 times but worse? Please I got quite offended It brought it all back in my head I started to feel dead.. My world spun and I couldn't even talk to you.. But I still loved you.. But I still love you.. That's why I feel so broken Everyone says this is right.. but why does it feel so wrong? Emotions everywhere like the ball in pong About logging into your account; I wanted to see if the messages they showed me were true; I didn't do anything malicious, had no intention- never would no matter how sour we are, I'm sure you knew It was once you and I verses the world- But we both got caught up in our own, acted so cold You have my soul PS. I know I'm not pitch perfect either But at least I put your emotions first: better than my actual brother That's all I wanted.. Now I'm just wasted.. I can't face it