Bones Howe - Step Right Up lyrics

Step right up step right up step right up Everyone's a winner bargains galore That's right you too can be the proud owner Of the quality goes in before the name goes on One-tenth of a dollar one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring? Something for the little lady something for the little lady Something for the little lady hmm Three for a dollar We got a year-end clearance we got a white sale And a smoke-damaged furniture you can drive it away today Act now act now and receive as our gift our gift to you They come in all colors one size fits all No muss no fuss no spills you're tired of kitchen drudgery Everything must go going out of business going out of business Going out of business sale Fifty percent off original retail price skip the middle man Don't settle for less How do we do it how do we do it volume volume turn up the volume Now you've heard it advertised don't hesitate Don't be caught with your drawers down Don't be caught with your drawers down You can step right up step right up That's right, it filets it chops it dices slices Never stops lasts a lifetime mows your lawn And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school It gets rid of unwanted facial hair It gets rid of embarra**ing age spots It delivers a pizza and it lengthens and it strengthens And it finds that slipper that's been at large under the chaise lounge for several weeks And it plays a mean Rhythm Master It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar And it's only a dollar step right up it's only a dollar step right up 'cause it forges your signature If not completely satisfied mail back unused portion of product For complete refund of price of purchase Step right up Please allow thirty days for delivery don't be fooled by cheap imitations You can live in it live in it laugh in it love in it Swim in it sleep in it Live in it swim in it laugh in it love in it Removes embarra**ing stains from contour sheets that's right And it entertains visiting relatives it turns a sandwich into a banquet Tired of being the life of the party? Change your shorts change your life change your life Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy get rid of your wife And it walks your dog and it doubles on sax Doubles on sax you can jump back Jack see you later alligator See you later alligator And it steals your car It gets rid of your gambling debts it quits smoking It's a friend and it's a companion And it's the only product you will ever need Follow these easy a**embly instructions it never needs ironing Well it takes weights off hips bust thighs chin midriff Gives you dandruff and it finds you a job it is a job And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange And it gives you denture breath And you know it's a friend and it's a companion And it gets rid of your traveler's checks It's new it's improved it's old-fashioned Well it takes care of business never needs winding Never needs winding never needs winding Gets rid of blackheads the heartbreak of psoriasis Christ you don't know the meaning of heartbreak buddy C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon 'cause it's effective it's defective it creates household odors It disinfects it sanitizes for your protection It gives you an erection it wins the election Why put up with painful corns any longer? It's a redeemable coupon no obligation no salesman will visit your home We got a jackpot jackpot jackpot prizes prizes prizes all work guaranteed How do we do it how do we do it how do we do it how do we do it We need your business we're going out of business We'll give you the business Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale Receive our free brochure free brochure Read the easy-to-follow a**embly instructions batteries not included Send before midnight tomorrow terms available Step right up step right up step right up You got it buddy the large print giveth and the small print taketh away Step right up you can step right up you can step right up C'mon step right up Get away from me kid you bother me Step right up step right up step right up c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon Step right up you can step right up c'mon and step right up C'mon and step right up