Bob & Tom - Condomnation lyrics

If I have a date and I think I'm gonna mount her I go to the d**tore and head to the counter I get what I need and I put it in my wallet It's the same old thing no matter what you call it A condom A scrote coat A manhole cover A pork cork A clam dam A plain ol' rubber A head shed A knob swab A third leg stocking It's all the same when your bed starts rockin'. Oh my If you wanna meet me for a little tryst Put a Coney Island white fish on your shoppin' list Slip it on when you're getting hot Then no one has to sleep on the gooey spot Get a gent tent A carp tarp A halt leg trouser A wood hood A clap cap A doogie houser A wa*k tank A root boot A prophylactic It'll look real slick in a johnson jacket Wrap that rascal up in a salami sling When you hit the sack You're ready, Jack To do the nasty thing Put on a jock sock A beav sleeve A canyon coaster A ball shawl A spunk trunk A love gun holster A meat sheet A goose noose A rod partition Do the math. There's no new addition I met a young lady in a single's bar Pretty soon we're getting naked in my car Now she tells me I'm gonna be a dad I could kick myself 'cause I wish I had on A muff moat A stilt kilt A large load stopper A boom balloon Or a totem pole topper A wad pod A wet suit A gonad girdle Cause you never know when she might be fertile Neutralize your schlong with a dong sarong When you're in bed, use a tickler head And she'll think you're King Kong Wear a love glove A squirt shirt A gland end gorda A bone beret A flesh fedora Put one on every time you make it And hope to God that you don't break it!