Well, I bought me a guitar, put it in tune Went out there the month of June 'Twas a hot dog night and a stick in a roar Everybody was a-down on this side There was a holy cow (holy cow) Mean cow (mean cow) Double jaw (double jaw) Cow (cow) Well, I'll tell you a story about how to become An all American boy, you can beat on a drum Beat on a drum from five to six You'll be rock 'n' rollin' soon gettin' your kicks It's a good job (good job) Join the band (gigging in the band) Bring your hand (pick your hand) Clean your hand and come up tight Roll a smoke and down at night Hold on a train, on a whiskey jar Settle it down there you are Hold it steady Pick it up now Now hit it (makin' the girls giggle) Yes, you'll be makin' 'em little girlies giggle You'll be makin' 'em all just jump up an' down an' wiggle Empty their socks, in their britches All you'll find that soon you'll be itches Itches all over Itch in your pants Itch while you dance Itchin' on down to the corn' of France Well, I know a boy yesterday He become a guitar and he floated away He played his bars and he played 'em all He's just on there havin' a ball Kicking a hot storm up over the ocean He took himself a notion He got some lotion and He put it on his guitar, put it on him Next time you knew you can call him Jim Down the road, boy, they call him Slim They don't care if they're carry him Just a minute now, you'll see what I mean (Uncle Sam, in this land, rippin' up draft cards, an' all that) Well, sooner or later a man's gonna come He gonna take a look at you, look at your drum He'd be a man and he'll take you home Yeah, he'll take you out to his farm He'll give you a good one He'll give it to ya (Well, you meet, girls don't giggle no more) Well, sooner or later you're bound to meet his wife And you'll come in 'n' have the time of your life Just pickin' the gum, pickin' up a star Pickin' up goin' and goin' to the bar You and your manager (pickin' my nose) Well, you'll want to know about the manager soon He'll just take you outside and put you on the moon He'll buy you new clothes, new pair of shoes You'll be walk' away with the drummer blues You'd be a fine drummer Pick 'em as a comer Dog hummer