Benefit - Super Mario Bros. Rap lyrics

It's 1986 I'm in the first grade I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid I gotta save the Princess so he can get the p**y Believe me, Mario would get that a** so f**k Luigi Mario really wants to get her in bed So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head He just wants s**, so forget the wedding bells Jumpin on little mushroom men and turtle shells Droppin down green pipes and secret pa**age ways Makin his move to the end where the final castle lays Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire All these creatures that attack him Cut Mario slack Oh sh*t hold on I'll be right back I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink Princess won't f**k a little kid, I think So stay grown and attend to your own And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone (Speak hook 2X) Save the Princess quick Because she wants a dick And if you let her free You get the p**y Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess But if it's up to me that sh*t'll stop this instance Cloud people throwin little spike animals Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'" (*from the movie "Kids"*) I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit Cause some kid in school told me you could see the Princess tits I wanna beat it before any of my friends do So I can say I put p**y upon Mario's menu At the end of each level I jump and get the flag And say to myself another castle in the bag I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide The Princess is a freak even though she has cla** Mario will take a plunger and put it in her a** I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly And I hate platforms that fall out from below me It's all worth while just to see Mario smile Standin next to the Princess buck-naked profile That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid Super Mario Brothers best game ever made (Speak hook 2X)