Ben Jonson - Volpone; Or, The Fox (Act 4 Scene 4.2) lyrics

THE SCRUTINEO, OR SENATE-HOUSE. ENTER VOLTORE, CORBACCIO, CORVINO, AND MOSCA. VOLT Well, now you know the carriage of the business, Your constancy is all that is required Unto the safety of it. MOS Is the lie Safely convey'd amongst us? is that sure? Knows every man his burden? CORV Yes. MOS Then shrink not. CORV But knows the advocate the truth? MOS O, sir, By no means; I devised a formal tale, That salv'd your reputation. But be valiant, sir. CORV I fear no one but him, that this his pleading Should make him stand for a co-heir— MOS Co-halter! Hang him; we will but use his tongue, his noise, As we do croakers here. CORV Ay, what shall he do? MOS When we have done, you mean? CORV Yes. MOS Why, we'll think: Sell him for mummia; he's half dust already. [TO VOLTORE.] Do not you smile, to see this buffalo, How he does sport it with his head? [ASIDE.] —I should, If all were well and past. [TO CORBACCIO.] —Sir, only you Are he that shall enjoy the crop of all, And these not know for whom they toil. CORB Ay, peace. MOS [TURNING TO CORVINO.]: But you shall eat it. Much! [ASIDE.] [TO VOLTORE.] —Worshipful sir, Mercury sit upon your thundering tongue, Or the French Hercules, and make your language As conquering as his club, to beat along, As with a tempest, flat, our adversaries; But much more yours, sir. VOLT Here they come, have done. MOS I have another witness, if you need, sir, I can produce. VOLT Who is it? MOS Sir, I have her. [ENTER AVOCATORI AND TAKE THEIR SEATS, BONARIO, CELIA, NOTARIO, COMMANDADORI, SAFFI, AND OTHER OFFICERS OF JUSTICE.] 1 AVOC The like of this the senate never heard of. 2 AVOC 'Twill come most strange to them when we report it. 4 AVOC The gentlewoman has been ever held Of unreproved name. 3 AVOC So has the youth. 4 AVOC The more unnatural part that of his father. 2 AVOC More of the husband. 1 AVOC I not know to give His act a name, it is so monstrous! 4 AVOC But the impostor, he's a thing created To exceed example! 1 AVOC And all after-times! 2 AVOC I never heard a true voluptuary Discribed, but him. 3 AVOC Appear yet those were cited? NOT All, but the old magnifico, Volpone. 1 AVOC Why is not he here? MOS Please your fatherhoods, Here is his advocate: himself's so weak, So feeble— 4 AVOC What are you? BON His parasite, His knave, his pandar—I beseech the court, He may be forced to come, that your grave eyes May bear strong witness of his strange impostures. VOLT Upon my faith and credit with your virtues, He is not able to endure the air. 2 AVOC Bring him, however. 3 AVOC We will see him. 4 AVOC Fetch him. VOLT Your fatherhoods fit pleasures be obey'd; [EXEUNT OFFICERS.] But sure, the sight will rather move your pities, Than indignation. May it please the court, In the mean time, he may be heard in me; I know this place most void of prejudice, And therefore crave it, since we have no reason To fear our truth should hurt our cause. 3 AVOC Speak free. VOLT Then know, most honour'd fathers, I must now Discover to your strangely abused ears, The most prodigious and most frontless piece Of solid impudence, and treachery, That ever vicious nature yet brought forth To shame the state of Venice. This lewd woman, That wants no artificial looks or tears To help the vizor she has now put on, Hath long been known a close adulteress, To that lascivious youth there; not suspected, I say, but known, and taken in the act With him; and by this man, the easy husband, Pardon'd: whose timeless bounty makes him now Stand here, the most unhappy, innocent person, That ever man's own goodness made accused. For these not knowing how to owe a gift Of that dear grace, but with their shame; being placed So above all powers of their gratitude, Began to hate the benefit; and, in place Of thanks, devise to extirpe the memory Of such an act: wherein I pray your fatherhoods To observe the malice, yea, the rage of creatures Discover'd in their evils; and what heart Such take, even from their crimes:—but that anon Will more appear.—This gentleman, the father, Hearing of this foul fact, with many others, Which daily struck at his too tender ears, And grieved in nothing more than that he could not Preserve himself a parent, (his son's ills Growing to that strange flood,) at last decreed To disinherit him. 1 AVOC These be strange turns! 2 AVOC The young man's fame was ever fair and honest. VOLT So much more full of danger is his vice, That can beguile so under shade of virtue. But, as I said, my honour'd sires, his father Having this settled purpose, by what means To him betray'd, we know not, and this day Appointed for the deed; that parricide, I cannot style him better, by confederacy Preparing this his paramour to be there, Enter'd Volpone's house, (who was the man, Your fatherhoods must understand, design'd For the inheritance,) there sought his father:— But with what purpose sought he him, my lords? I tremble to pronounce it, that a son Unto a father, and to such a father, Should have so foul, felonious intent! It was to murder him: when being prevented By his more happy absence, what then did he? Not check his wicked thoughts; no, now new deeds, (Mischief doth ever end where it begins) An act of horror, fathers! he dragg'd forth The aged gentleman that had there lain bed-rid Three years and more, out of his innocent couch, Naked upon the floor, there left him; wounded His servant in the face: and, with this strumpet The stale to his forged practice, who was glad To be so active,—(I shall here desire Your fatherhoods to note but my collections, As most remarkable,—) thought at once to stop His father's ends; discredit his free choice In the old gentleman, redeem themselves, By laying infamy upon this man, To whom, with blushing, they should owe their lives. 1 AVOC What proofs have you of this? BON Most honoured fathers, I humbly crave there be no credit given To this man's mercenary tongue. 2 AVOC Forbear. BON His soul moves in his fee. 3 AVOC O, sir. BON This fellow, For six sols more, would plead against his Maker. 1 AVOC You do forget yourself. VOLT: Nay, nay, grave fathers, Let him have scope: can any man imagine That he will spare his accuser, that would not Have spared his parent? 1 AVOC Well, produce your proofs. CEL I would I could forget I were a creature. VOLT Signior Corbaccio. [CORBACCIO COMES FORWARD.] 1 AVOC What is he? VOLT The father. 2 AVOC Has he had an oath? NOT Yes. CORB What must I do now? NOT Your testimony's craved. CORB Speak to the knave? I'll have my mouth first stopt with earth; my heart Abhors his knowledge: I disclaim in him. 1 AVOC But for what cause? CORB The mere portent of nature! He is an utter stranger to my loins. BON Have they made you to this? CORB I will not hear thee, Monster of men, swine, goat, wolf, parricide! Speak not, thou viper. BON Sir, I will sit down, And rather wish my innocence should suffer, Then I resist the authority of a father. VOLT Signior Corvino! [CORVINO COMES FORWARD.] 2 AVOC This is strange. 1 AVOC Who's this? NOT The husband. 4 AVOC Is he sworn? NOT He is. 3 AVOC Speak, then. CORV This woman, please your fatherhoods, is a who*e, Of most hot exercise, more than a partrich, Upon record— 1 AVOC No more. CORV Neighs like a jennet. NOT Preserve the honour of the court. CORV I shall, And modesty of your most reverend ears. And yet I hope that I may say, these eyes Have seen her glued unto that piece of cedar, That fine well-timber'd gallant; and that here The letters may be read, through the horn, That make the story perfect. MOS Excellent! sir. CORV [ASIDE TO MOSCA.]: There's no shame in this now, is there? MOS None. CORV Or if I said, I hoped that she were onward To her damnation, if there be a hell Greater than who*e and woman; a good catholic May make the doubt. 3 AVOC His grief hath made him frantic. 1 AVOC Remove him hence. 2 AVOC Look to the woman. [CELIA SWOONS.] CORV Rare! Prettily feign'd, again! 4 AVOC Stand from about her. 1 AVOC Give her the air. 3 AVOC [TO MOSCA.]: What can you say? MOS My wound, May it please your wisdoms, speaks for me, received In aid of my good patron, when he mist His sought-for father, when that well-taught dame Had her cue given her, to cry out, A rape! BON O most laid impudence! Fathers— 3 AVOC Sir, be silent; You had your hearing free, so must they theirs. 2 AVOC I do begin to doubt the imposture here. 4 AVOC This woman has too many moods. VOLT Grave fathers, She is a creature of a most profest And prostituted lewdness. CORV Most impetuous, Unsatisfied, grave fathers! VOLT May her feignings Not take your wisdoms: but this day she baited A stranger, a grave knight, with her loose eyes, And more lascivious kisses. This man saw them Together on the water in a gondola. MOS Here is the lady herself, that saw them too; Without; who then had in the open streets Pursued them, but for saving her knight's honour. 1 AVOC Produce that lady. 2 AVOC Let her come. [EXIT MOSCA.] 4 AVOC These things, They strike with wonder! 3 AVOC I am turn'd a stone. [RE-ENTER MOSCA WITH LADY WOULD-BE.] MOS Be resolute, madam. LADY P Ay, this same is she. [POINTING TO CELIA.] Out, thou chameleon harlot! now thine eyes Vie tears with the hyaena. Dar'st thou look Upon my wronged face?—I cry your pardons, I fear I have forgettingly transgrest Against the dignity of the court— 2 AVOC No, madam. LADY P And been exorbitant— 2 AVOC You have not, lady. 4 AVOC These proofs are strong. LADY P Surely, I had no purpose To scandalise your honours, or my s**'s. 3 AVOC We do believe it. LADY P Surely, you may believe it. 2 AVOC Madam, we do. LADY P Indeed, you may; my breeding Is not so coarse— 1 AVOC We know it. LADY P To offend With pertinacy— 3 AVOC Lady— LADY P Such a presence! No surely. 1 AVOC We well think it. LADY P You may think it. 1 AVOC Let her o'ercome. What witnesses have you To make good your report? BON Our consciences. CEL And heaven, that never fails the innocent. 4 AVOC These are no testimonies. BON Not in your courts, Where multitude, and clamour overcomes. 1 AVOC Nay, then you do wax insolent. [RE-ENTER OFFICERS, BEARING VOLPONE ON A COUCH.] VOLT Here, here, The testimony comes, that will convince, And put to utter dumbness their bold tongues: See here, grave fathers, here's the ravisher, The rider on men's wives, the great impostor, The grand voluptuary! Do you not think These limbs should affect venery? or these eyes Covet a concubine? pray you mark these hands; Are they not fit to stroke a lady's breasts?— Perhaps he doth dissemble! BON So he does. VOLT Would you have him tortured? BON I would have him proved. VOLT Best try him then with goads, or burning irons; Put him to the strappado: I have heard The rack hath cured the gout; 'faith, give it him, And help him of a malady; be courteous. I'll undertake, before these honour'd fathers, He shall have yet as many left diseases, As she has known adulterers, or thou strumpets.— O, my most equal hearers, if these deeds, Acts of this bold and most exorbitant strain, May pa** with sufferance; what one citizen But owes the forfeit of his life, yea, fame, To him that dares traduce him? which of you Are safe, my honour'd fathers? I would ask, With leave of your grave fatherhoods, if their plot Have any face or colour like to truth? Or if, unto the dullest nostril here, It smell not rank, and most abhorred slander? I crave your care of this good gentleman, Whose life is much endanger'd by their fable; And as for them, I will conclude with this, That vicious persons, when they're hot and flesh'd In impious acts, their constancy abounds: Damn'd deeds are done with greatest confidence. 1 AVOC Take them to custody, and sever them. 2 AVOC 'Tis pity two such prodigies should live. 1 AVOC Let the old gentleman be return'd with care; [EXEUNT OFFICERS WITH VOLPONE.] I'm sorry our credulity hath wrong'd him. 4 AVOC These are two creatures! 3 AVOC I've an earthquake in me. 2 AVOC Their shame, even in their cradles, fled their faces. 4 AVOC [TO VOLT.]: You have done a worthy service to the state, sir, In their discovery. 1 AVOC You shall hear, ere night, What punishment the court decrees upon them. [EXEUNT AVOCAT., NOT., AND OFFICERS WITH BONARIO AND CELIA.] VOLT We thank your fatherhoods.—How like you it? MOS Rare. I'd have your tongue, sir, tipt with gold for this; I'd have you be the heir to the whole city; The earth I'd have want men, ere you want living: They're bound to erect your statue in St. Mark's. Signior Corvino, I would have you go And shew yourself, that you have conquer'd. CORV Yes. MOS It was much better that you should profess Yourself a cuckold thus, than that the other Should have been prov'd. CORV Nay, I consider'd that: Now it is her fault: MOS Then it had been yours. CORV True; I do doubt this advocate still. MOS I'faith, You need not, I dare ease you of that care. CORV I trust thee, Mosca. [EXIT.] MOS As your own soul, sir. CORB Mosca! MOS Now for your business, sir. CORB How! have you business? MOS Yes, your's, sir. CORB O, none else? MOS None else, not I. CORB Be careful, then. MOS Rest you with both your eyes, sir. CORB Dispatch it. MOS Instantly. CORB And look that all, Whatever, be put in, j**els, plate, moneys, Household stuff, bedding, curtains. MOS Curtain-rings, sir. Only the advocate's fee must be deducted. CORB I'll pay him now; you'll be too prodigal. MOS Sir, I must tender it. CORB Two chequines is well? MOS No, six, sir. CORB 'Tis too much. MOS He talk'd a great while; You must consider that, sir. CORB Well, there's three— MOS I'll give it him. CORB Do so, and there's for thee. [EXIT.] MOS [ASIDE.]: Bountiful bones! What horrid strange offence Did he commit 'gainst nature, in his youth, Worthy this age? [TO VOLT.]—You see, sir, how I work Unto your ends; take you no notice. VOLT No, I'll leave you. [EXIT.] MOS All is yours, the devil and all: Good advocate!—Madam, I'll bring you home. LADY P No, I'll go see your patron. MOS That you shall not: I'll tell you why. My purpose is to urge My patron to reform his Will; and for The zeal you have shewn to-day, whereas before You were but third or fourth, you shall be now Put in the first; which would appear as begg'd, If you were present. Therefore— LADY P You shall sway me. [EXEUNT.]