My name is Digger Colder I'm a mortician Let me get a little more of this embalming fluid And we'll get the procession under way Well I undertook to be an undertaker And she undertook to be this undertaker's wife But a nonundertaker over took her And they undermine this undertaker's life Oh I dare not to send her lilies Or to say I dig you the most She never liked our long black Cadillac Or me in a long black coat Then I undertook to bury all my troubles I undertook to throw myself into my work But that was such a grave undertaking And I never did learn to like the taste of dirt Oh I never could convience her My cold hands just meant a warm heart She didn't dig all them cadivers what's a cadaver You might say till d**h did us part Now I've undertaken the thought that consoles me Her best laid plans are bound to run aground Cause everybody's gotta come here some day Then I'm really gonna put that woman down Oh they won't say that she looks natural Cause she frowned down upon this place And the last time I'm ever gonna see her I'll put a big smile all over her silly face Cause you know when she went shovellin' off Then I realized that I'd dug her the most Although she threw dirt in my face That's a pretty grave situation you know I think that's what started my coughin' Then I went on ahead and I bought her a stone a tombstone of course Then I called my mother on the phone and I said to her I said mommmmmmie