Today I found a thousand steaming hot dogs in my bathtub Goat's head nailed to my door There was voices chanting in the toaster oven And I drove to work from the back seat of my car At work, the boss was giving away tickets to his own hanging People are smoking joints out of their noses at their desks The typewriter was lonely, writing love letters And the telephones are answering themselves Whooo And the supermarket was having a free sale And the turkeys were climbing out of their packaging And dancing in the aisles with friendly midgets As watermelons exploded with delight Santa Claus ran naked through the city with his fangs on fire Taco truck was being driven by a hyperventilating cactus A mariachi band was playing water polo with a prosthetic head And the furniture was sitting on all the people And the plates were eating all the food Whoo yea