Barstool Prophets - Short & Curlies lyrics

Short & Curlies Sitting on a barstool in the middle of the afternoon Pondering my existence, and exactly what it was you said to me My bottle holds no answers So I tell the man I'd like to ask another one This one too is of no help to me So I k** it, pay, and then I leave I cross the street against the light And interrupt the bussle of the boulevard I pa** a bum with upturned palm Who amazingly appears worse off than me His pleas are met with ignorance By many of pa**ersby this afternoon So I give him all of my pocket change And earn his eternal gratitude Because life has got him firmly by the short and curlies Turn the corner up the block And come upon a woman, who you could say I've known before Her name has been Candi, And Sunni I think this time I'll call her Crystal She asks me if I'd like to see a trick or two And I say "Yes" because magic excites me greatly, don't you know A nearby man walks up to us and arrest us It's her third time today Life is kind s**my in her short and curlies So I'm sitting in my jail cell a little later on the afternoon And I'm listening to this jacka** who's telling me The vital part his family played The in taming of the new world I grab him by the throat; push him up against the wall And say, "Man I'm not having a very nice day!" He says ten words to me And those are ten words that I will never forget He said, "Life has got us firmly by the short and curlies."