Barren - For now lyrics

I'm trying to behave, but I just can't sit still And I'm dying to see myself as you knew But i'm dying inside if you just knew I care and I swear i'll take you And i'm finding myself just trying to buy time Filling up my lungs, smoke leaves my breath [?] as if sleeping in everyday till' the sun goes down Brings no shame Yeah, and I tear apart when I forget [?] Save yourself from the private list My eyes see your name But the lights not in frame Blinded by the loud