If I could I'd buy you a sofa If I was famous, I'd give you all my money and a signed poster My love is like a lumberjack, big, burly, nothing like me, except he owns an ax He eats flapjacks and daily smokes 3 packs, but lately his boss told him to relax He said hang up the overalls go home and shave He looked down at the soil and saw it in 2 ways The place where plants grow and future home of his grave Either way he respected and despised both He never knew what love was but been divorced 3 times Now solitude is asking "will you marry me?" But like every relationship, he just can't and can't stop saw dusting cherry trees Mammals cry, humans blush and berries bleed Blood is juice our organs are decisions are seed His life is a garden, our friends are greed, our friends are water, our friends are weeds The governments a gardener He pimps for profit and makes money off of shovels and hoes His d** are pesticides that k** the good and the bad Either way the products tainted, the ax hits the ground covered in blood Lumberjack love, the masterpiece is painted It takes 40 whacks to take down a tree, it takes one word to take down me I'm holding an ax in the forest of love, looking for a tree She loves me too, but I'm always making up suspicions of her cheating on me We get along but attachments a bulldozer and my blades left too many birds homeless My ax is my only friend but when I'm not in Denver, I'm throwing up from the homesick I love her, she's sharp, sturdy, not too wordy But whenever she's not around, I miss her and start to worry I'm no magician I never had enough magic to cut a tree hugger in half So all I can do is admire their worthless pa**ion, wait till they leave and laugh I chop down homes and I'll chop down my own I chop down happiness, I chop down nests I chop down redwoods, I've chopped down the best I chop down trees, I'm a lumberjack I follow orders, if it was in my job description, I'd chop down me A tree has no funeral and neither do relationships Every night I see your lips and we kiss Then I wake up alone with your fragrance still tasting it I got good memories but I always think about the bad, taking my time and wasting it It takes 40 whacks to take down a tree, except for this time it started to fall towards me I threw her down and ran from the splintered tentacles It took 39 that time but she came and gave me the 40th straight to my ventricles It goes, chop down forest, make it a log Turn it to paper, then send it to the nearest skyscraper No 2 things ever seem to like each other, cause when one likes another The other doesn't seem to want to be it's lover Its okay, go along and find some other handsome man I'd find someone I can use and someday put into my grandson's hand The drops the palate and falls into the canvas, doesn't even know he fainted The ax hits the ground covered in love Lumberjack blood, the masterpiece is painted We chop down the trees, I never gave her a ring, she never gave me a ring So I guess it didn't mean a thing Now we're both stumped, living out our trunks Baby relax, put down your ax I gotta go plant some trees, please wait for me, please It takes 40 whacks to take down a tree, it takes one word to take down me My ax took an ax and gave me 40 whacks When she saw what she had done she gave me 41 It takes 40 whacks to take down a tree, it takes one word to take down me By the time they saw dusk, all they saw was saw dust