Aurelio Voltaire - The Beast of Pirate's Bay lyrics

Gather weary traveler, i have a tale to tell It might just save your life but only if you listen well There before the breakers and just along the way There's a sign. it says: "BEWARE!: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!" Some say he's a guppy some kid threw in the sea He ate so many sailors now he's bigger than a tree His teeth as sharp as scissors his claws they are like knives And if you think he's ugly? Wait 'till you see his insides! Oh don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him He'll eat you up and spit you out so you better stay away Heed the sign that says: "BEWARE!: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!" Some say he's a serpent who came straight from hell To eat the souls of pirates and other ne'er-do-wells Some they dont believe it. As for me? I got a hunch Because there used to be some pirates here... Till he ate them all for lunch! Oh don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him He'll eat you up and spit you out so you better stay away Heed the sign that says: "BEWARE!: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!" Captain Hook, ya heard of him? He came to Pirate's Bay It seems his little Nemesis, nearly got away He reached into the water to grab at Peter Pan There was a crunch and a scream! and now that scurvy captain's got hooks on both his hands! Oh don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him He'll eat you up and spit you out so you better stay away Heed the sign that says: "BEWARE!: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!" Blackbeard the Pirate. Ya know for what he's feared? It's mostly for that dark imposing color of his beard He saw the beast and now nobody's scared of him because His beard turned white and all agree: He looks like Santa Claus! Oh don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him He'll eat you up and spit you out so you better stay away Heed the sign that says: "BEWARE!: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!" Well now the tavern's empty and there's only you and me And, if you care, i'd like to share how this song came to be So come a little closer if you really want to know This very sad and woeful tale that happened so long ago Well i was just a little boy when i went to Pirate's bay And there i saw a creature that was very much dismayed With a harpoon in his dorsal fin and a hook stuck in his side This mighty whale was in such pain we both began to cry I pushed and i shoved but he would not give way Into the deeper waters of our shallow Pirate's Bay All i could do to help him was to keep people away So i wrote a sign...it said: "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!" Oh don't you sail and don't you row And certainly don't you swim Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him He'll eat you up and spit you out so you better stay away Heed the sign that says: "BEWARE!: " Hell, i should know! I put it there! Heed the sign that says: "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"