It's okay if you're a m**m, a Christian or a Jew
It's okay if you're agnostic and you don't know what to do
An all-inclusive celebration, no contractual obligation
Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you! (and pagans, too)
In some ways we're all monkeys, well maybe just a smidgen
I'm a Scientologist, that's kind of a religion
Whose faith is the right one? It's anybody's guess
What matters most is camera phones for twenty dollars less
And there's never any hidden fees, oh what a joyous day
No commitments means I'm proud to go both ways
Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you!
This is gonna be the best Chrismahanukwanzakah ever...