I got a new kind of s**y
I'm working on a recipe for rich
And exotic combinations of some fresh kinds of s**y
A new kind of s**y, yeah
My face is like the California government
In terms of how it tends to budget what it's covered in
Hair follicles are public school doors
Every day I open up a new pore and close two more
But it's improper now to comment on what's risen
Because pimples pop up commoner than prisons
It's all blackheads, no justice now
But they get overcrowded and I bust 'em out
I'm like pop! pop! motherf**er, I'm a bad man
And some day my skin'll crack like the Badlands
Like my dad's is
But if that's all, I don't give a rat's balls
I'll wear them like they're badges
Damn a boy scout, they're man scout patches
Because I'm endowed, and how, dammit
And I know my body makes you want to hang out bad
The way my skin is cleaner than a Shamwow ad
And someday you'll see my stubble from the Hubble
On my mama on the double I'ma look like Barney Rubble
Yo
I'm talkin' like a Harry and the Hendersons
Notice every time my knuckles bury to the bend again
'Cause follicles by flying out my wild pores
Double standard 'cause I love my body hair but mind yours, girl
I'm grizzly-esque
You bet he think the yetis wonder is he blessed?
My shoulder hair sheen like a solar flare
I'm a polar bear seekin' out a ball of Nair
Wuzzy fuzzy from his childhood or early days
Every time I cook I guzzle up a dozen curly strays
Yucky! My tweezers stay plucky
And your girlie gets to floss her teeth every time she's...
Well, kissin' on my lower regions
The reason that I keep it's 'cause it's good for colder seasons
But in the summer time I'm the a**hole
Sunbathing at the beach, belly like an afro
I got a plan laid for my next planned date
Tell the ward and Weezy wait I forgot to manscape
But for now I got a new kind of s**y
I'm working a theory of a new and experimental
Blend of different rare kinds of s**y
A new kind of s**y
I got a couple regrettable tattoos
But you can't see 'em when I wear a black suit
Got it drunk of of Jägers out in Vegas last June
At water parks kids yell, "Look at that douche!"
You know that saying that if looks could k**?
Well, my style is harmless; I shop at Goodwill
Hint of pifter, swap meet hood feel
Four-stripe Adidas, but that sh** look real
(Good deal!)
Call me a fashionista
Skinny dude, gimme food, cash or Visa
A freeloader with weeks of weed odor
Tryin' to get the freaks to scream like Ricola!
One chick for me and one chick for Watsky
He love them older women that be screamin' out "Yahtzee!"
Topsy-turvy, I'm not so pervy
Compared to Intuition, the way he knock them girlies
We like 'em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Haitian
A new kind of s**y is sweepin' the nation
I'm impatient
But yesterday I bought a pullup bar
I made plans to go jog down the boulevard
I changed my culinary choices from full of starch
To full of sh**
It's a total farce
I haven't run a lap in years but I'll crack a beer
And run the poker table like a f**in' racketeer
I'm like Boom shakalack! f**
Let's have a potluck
I got a hot buck
Burning a hole in my pocket so let's hit the tac' truck
Jock's s**
Just throw everything we got
In the wok and let's grub
'Till it looks like we're knocked up
I got a new kind of s**y
I'm working on a recipe for rich
And exotic combinations of some fresh kinds of s**y
A new kind of s**y
Justin brought s**y back
But that s**y's a cheap one
So we brought that s**y back
And exchanged it for a refund
We got a, we got a new kind of...
A new and shiny kind of...
A new and shiny kind of...