Brenda? How we gonna get to the party?
Call up Jimmy he's got a car. And what if a girl answers? Hang up on her. Hang up nothing!...Jimmy says I was his girl. Well-, if a girl answers- don't hang up- just talk about her!
(Vanity) Yes
(Phone rings) Female says "Hello"?
This is Vanity...is Jimmy home?
(Female)
Yes- but he's taking a shower
(Vanity)
Oh I see- did he just take out the trash-
(Female)
No that's something he used to do...now he's taking out me!
(Vanity)
Oh I see well tell him he left his pants over here last night
(Female)
That's ok you keep em'...he won't be need 'em tonight
(Vanity)
Oh oh whats the matter...is he going swimming?
(Female)
Well no we were gonna go...but he said he did that last night
(Vanity)
Well suga' I know about a great party..why dont you bring us your car
(Female)
So sorry babe- but I never go to singles bars
(Vanity)
Singles?! Is that what you think...tramp I'm dating your dad
(Female)
Oh well he died about seven years back now ain't that just too bad
(Vanity)
Well thats how we like 'em tall stiff and ready...that positively more than I can say for dead Jimmy
(Female)
Thats because he was swallowing vitamin E- now he's swallowing me
(Vanity)
Oh you mean you were swallowing him...why dont you just tie a mattress to your back
(Female)
I'm gonna need it cause if I ever see your face I'm gonna fall and have a heart attack
(Vanity)
All that's gonna fall is the wig off your head- now what you think about that!?
(Female)
I think I'd rather wear a wig than to run a motel for roaches, dancing lice, dogs and cats in my hair!
(Brenda, who is agitated, listening, jumps in)
Hey- that's gone to far hear gimme the phone- hey tramp take a bath in puke...what's more you can kiss where the sun dont shine- if that dont work- we can duke! You see the only kind of man that would play with you is one that plays with himself...none my friends can stand the sight of you- much less the smell. If I wasn't a lady I take my money and buy you a brand new face...then I'd take my underwear and stick 'em in your mouth and you'd love cause you got no taste and if that dont work call back your dead daddy and show him what you look like now- Honey I'd bet he'd never come back cause you're one ugly cow...(woo-wee) girl you tell your boyfriend Jimmy to go ahead and "f" I called- cause as far as I see it he can't afford to bite the beat of this star!
There's two things we can't stand...one's a jive talk man....the other's a jive talk man with no money...can you dig it-..click
If a girl answers- don't hang up
If a girl answers- don't hang up. repeat
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