{verse 1}
20 years of living on earth
I'm filled with pain and it hurts
I know that life is a blessing, but i'm still stressing 'cuz i feel cursed
I can't open up 'cuz every time i do, it just makes everything worse
Anger, depression and sadness, why do i have this? why can't i let it disperse?
I might burst if i can't control it, it's not my fault i been broken
I'm just used to everyone foldin', my brain and heart's all swollen
And i already know if, i keep containin' all my emotions
I'll start explodin', can't even hide this pain by smokin'
I hate being alone, i want a girl i can call my own
With no doubts on the words out her mouth, but i can't even get a text back on my phone
So i gotta get stoned, whether i'm out or chillin' at home
Pick up a pencil, play instrumentals then you know i'm in my zone
What's the point of all this cash, if there's no respect?
I try to be there for everyone, but when it comes to my ass, they fast to forget
I just be tryin' not to mind it, but alas it's havin' me stressed
All of this trauma got to my head; that's a fact i wanna reject
How can i act like life is the best? when i reside in the state of america
Everyone's fast to rack up a mess, but they on my neck if i'm breakin' my character
I hate the fact, there's no respect for us blacks, they actin' like they scared of us
sh*t is so wack, and i just be sittin' back and thinkin' that nobody care for us
But i don't know, why i smoke and drink like this, why do i always think like this
Maybe it's cuz i'm aware that my life can be took so quick in a blink like this
With no way to stop it, so day by day i'm watchin'
'cuz where i'm from, these ni**as full of hate they straight up plottin'
{verse 2}
When i wake up i gotta bake up just to keep my sanity
I'm so paranoid that sometimes i can't even trust my family
But there's no reason behind it, that's just the way i feel
Maybe the whole world might be better off on the very day i'm killed
I still don't know why i'm like this, i'm alive but i feel so lifeless
I don't understand how folks do wrong all the time instead of being righteous
It makes me so damn mad, that i walk around all day with a tight fist
Sometimes i just wanna swing on the next motherfu*ker that think he could try sh*t
And i just don't know, why a ni**a got all these problems
Or what had caused 'em, and i'm not too sure if i'll ever solve 'em
I lost some friends and i hate it but i'll make it with or without 'em
But rather than talking about it, just sit back and listen to the album