Chapter One: There Must Be an Angel
Despite my fears I found Wynter's End most delightfully situated above a river, with terraces of sweet-scented knots. Sir Ralph was greatly pleased to see mee—but not so the mistress. Mary Wynter is Sir Ralph's second wife and I perceived from the moment she set eyes on mee that she was mine extreame enemy, though I know not why unless she hateth every woman of less years than herself.
From the journal of Alys Blezzard, 1580
No matter how many times I dreamed of the terrible day that culminated in my mother taking me away from Winter's End for ever, I still woke up with my face wet with tears and a sense of anguish—and guilt.
Was the final argument that precipitated our flight my fault for provoking Grandfather once too often? I had been a mischievous child, always getting into trouble.
My mind groped desperately after the disappearing echoes of once-familiar voices, the last lingering fragrance of Gallica roses…but as always they slipped away, leaving me with only the fragmented memories of my early childhood to take out and examine, one by one, like faded treasures.
Since my grandfather's brief visit earlier this year everything had been stirred up again and old wounds had reopened. But surely it shouldn't still hurt so much. It was so long ago, that settled time before my mother and I, cast out of Eden, had moved around the country from squat to travellers' van to commune. Eventually, like random jetsam, we'd washed up at a remote little Scottish commune, where we'd run out of road. And then later my poor feckless mother had literally run out of road…but as Marlowe said, that was in another country: and besides, the wench is dead.
Dead and gone.
It was still dark and I reached for the bedside lamp, only to find that it wasn't there. Then, with a sickening jolt under the ribcage, I remembered that it was already packed away—and why.
I had to pad across the cold, bare floorboards to switch on the ceiling light before climbing back into bed. The white candlewick coverlet, with its raised diamond pattern and central flower motifs, suddenly reminded me of the intricately moulded plaster ceilings of Winter's End. Strange that I hadn't thought of that before, but perhaps, subconsciously, that had been why I bought it.
Yet I barely ever allowed myself to think of Winter's End—not with my conscious mind, anyway—for that was the past, with the door forever shut, and the present had to be dealt with.
And what a present! That day I would be moving out of the tied cottage where Lucy and I had lived for over twenty years, because my elderly employer recently suffered a bad fall and the consequence was that my job had come to an abrupt end.
At first I thought everything would work out fine, especially when Lady Betty's nephew arrived to look after things until she recovered enough to come home. Conor was a chubby, balding man who always reminded me of an amiable frog, though unfortunately he turned out to be a complete toad.
On previous visits to Blackwalls he had seemed fond of Lady Betty and otherwise entirely harmless (apart from a slight tendency to invade my personal space and squeeze my arm with his plump white fingers, while telling me how grateful he was to me for looking after his aunt). That opinion lasted right up to the point where he got power of attorney and had poor Lady Betty, confused but weakly protesting, whipped straight from the hospital to an expensive retirement home. Personally, I don't see that keeping fourteen cats, and telling visitors to your stately ruin that you are the reincarnation of Ramses the First, is anything like enough reason to be declared incompetent to manage your affairs. She'd managed them perfectly well for years, with a little a**istance from her faithful staff, and she never wore the headdress and robe in public.
I think Conor's betrayal was a much greater shock to her than the fall, which I told him straight the day I found out about it—and then he had the gall to come round to the cottage that very evening, well tanked up, to try to exercise some kind of medieval droit de seigneur, insinuating that keeping my home and my job depended entirely on how ‘friendly' I was.
I had an instinctive knee-jerk reaction and droited his seigneur until his eyes watered. Pity Lady Betty hadn't been able to do the same, once he had charmed and weaselled the ‘temporary' power of attorney out of her and showed his true colours.
The upshot was that Conor gave me immediate notice and put my cottage and other a**ets up for sale—and of course without a job I couldn't get a mortgage to buy it myself. In any case, I couldn't match the price the people buying it as a weekend cottage were prepared to pay. Let's face it, I couldn't even raise the deposit.
When my husband, Rory, did his vanishing trick and left me holding the baby over twenty years ago, I took the job of Lady Betty's general factotum and moved to a remote little Northumbrian village with Lucy, mainly because it offered a cottage as well as a small salary. There weren't many applicants, or I don't suppose I would have got the job at my age and with a small child, despite having had lots of relevant experience working for the mistress of a small Scottish castle ever since I left school.
But the minute we arrived at the village I knew it was meant to be, because I recognised the place. My mad mother and I (and her man of the moment) had once set up home in our vans in a lay-by just outside it, and for several days no one had tried to move us on. That was exceptional, since normally we seemed to be as welcome as a bad smell.
So you see, serendipity brought us here, and Lady Betty loved children and was quite happy for me to fit my work around Lucy's needs. But my pay wasn't huge, so I'd staggered from one financial crisis to another over the years, with never quite enough money to make ends meet, juggling bills and later helping Lucy out at university when her student loan and part-time job weren't quite enough.
If only the interest wasn't so high on that small loan I took out…and if only I hadn't had to increase it further still to cover nearly two thousand pounds of vet's bills for poor Daisy! And all in vain, though of course I had had to try because she was Lucy's dog too, and we both loved her. And if only I hadn't economised the month before she got ill by letting her pet insurance lapse, it would have been perfectly all right.
If only…
Why did everything have to go pear-shaped at once? My life was like a volcano: it lay dormant for long enough to let me think it was acquiescent, and then suddenly tossed out hot rocks.
My mother would have said, ‘Accept your karma and go with the flow, darling,' but just look where doing that got her. She flowed over the Atlantic, over California and down a rather steep canyon. And then, since she still had her old pa**port, they returned her to Winter's End for burial: a toss of the dice and right down the snake to where you started out, though perhaps not in quite the same pristine condition.
But it was not in my nature to be miserable for long, and soon fingers of silvery sunlight began to gleam around the edges of the black cloud of despondency. I knew something good was coming, even if not precisely what, because I have a touch of the second sight from my witch ancestor, Alys Blezzard.
And after all, there were hours yet before I had to hand over the keys of Spiggs Cottage to strangers and always, always in the past something had happened to avert calamity at the last minute…though perhaps calamity had never been on such a grand, overwhelming scale before. I mean, I'd put down roots here at last, shallow and tentative though they might be, and it was the only home Lucy had ever known. I'd been so determined that Lucy would have the secure and settled upbringing I hadn't had myself once Mum had torn me away from Winter's End.
I sat up, hugging my knees. It wasn't too late to save the cottage—the contract wouldn't be exchanged until later that morning. There was still time for the cavalry to come riding over the hill to rescue me, bugles blowing and flags flying, just as they always had.
I was filled with a sudden glow of unfounded optimism. Getting up, I sprayed on a liberal, fortifying blast of Penhaligon's Elisabethan Rose perfume (the only extravagance in my life, unless you counted Lucy), pulled on a red jumper and jeans that clung to my abundant curves, and ruthlessly dragged a hairbrush through wildly curling dark hair.
Then I went to make coffee and await the arrival of the postman. The last post…
No, I wouldn't think like that! The postman would bring good news—a reprieve. Maybe I'd won the lottery (despite never buying a ticket) or the Pools. Or perhaps Conor had metamorphosed overnight from a co*kroach into a human being and, repentant, he would refuse to sell the cottage and instead beg me to stay there rent free for ever (no droit de seigneur included).
My best friend, Anya, who believes our guardian angels watch over us twenty-four seven, would say that she heard the hushing whisper of mine's wings as she (or should that be it?) rushed to the rescue.
I only hoped my very own Personal Celestial Being wouldn't collide on the doorstep with the cavalry or there would be feathers everywhere.